A friendship with Shawn Mendes

Chapter 20

Victoria's POV:
A few months have passed since our graduation. Me and Shawn have realized how hard this long-distance-relationship is. I think that we haven't talked in weeks. I knew that he was busy and that he was on tour in the cause of his new album getting released, but not hearing anything at all from him in two weeks have actually gotten me worried. I heard that he would have a concert in New York today which wasn't that for away from Yale, at least if you compare it to Los Angeles where he pretty much have been this past months.

I had talked to Andrew his manager and he agreed to help me surprise him after his concert today. I really need to see him.

I arrived at the arena in New York where Shawn was playing and I watched him perform, he was so talented. At the end of the show he thanked his fans for being an amazing crowd and then run backstage where I was waiting.

"Victoria??" He said surprised as his eyes met mine. "I've missed you so much, can't believe you are here!" He came closer and hugged me tightly and gave me a kiss on my forehead.

"I've missed you too, that's actually also the reason why I'm here, I haven't heard from you in weeks." I said and was a little disappointed.

"I know I'm sorry.. We really need to talk." He said and started to look uncomfortable.

"What's wrong?" I asked worried, even though I obviously could see him having something on his mind, it would at least explain his avoiding me.

His eyes shut as he took a deep breathe and explained, "I've promised myself to always be honest with you and I don't think that I have been this past weeks."

"What do you mean?" My eyebrows pulled together in confusion and I stumbled over my words nervously, I watched him and I could see pain in his eyes.

"I have been so busy these past months and I don't know if I can keep this relationship going.." He looked down at the ground and I could sense him being afraid of meeting my eyes again. "There was so many times when I wanted to call you and tell you, but I just kept on looking at my phone and couldn't do it, it's been killing me, I need you to be happy and I don't know if that's something you can be while being with me."

"So you're saying that instead of fighting for us you are giving up?" I took a big disappointed breath out and shook my head, my whole world and heart stopped at the same time.

"No, I'm not!" He said and sounded a bit offended. "Darling listen, I love you. I really do and I hate to hurt you, but this isn't fair for none of us. I want you to be happy but me constantly being on the road and traveling from place to place makes it really hard, it breaks my heart to not being able to give you what you deserve." He said and put his hand on my face and caressed it while looking me in my tear filled eyes.

"I can't believe this.." I said while tears streamed down my face and everything he said to me went in one ear and right out the other.

"You know that I'm sorry.." He said and wiped away my tears as his eyes began to water. "But I have something for you." He gave me a smile and handed me a small white bag.

"What is this?" I asked confused.

"Something that I need you to have, please open it when you get home."

"Oh, okay." I said and a small silence came between us. We just stayed like that for a while and looked into each others eyes. I don't think that none of us knew what to say or do anymore, we were officially broken up and I never thought we would end up like this.

"Is it okay if I kiss you one last time before we go our ways?" He somehow managed to stutter but looked doubtful.

Whether it was wrong or right I let him kiss me and as he slowly lifted my head up our lips met for the last time.

***
I was driving back to Yale and was still crying, can't believe that this Shawn I saw today was the same Shawn who had a whole speech about how much we were meant to be. I had drove maybe half of the way back to Yale when my eyes got caught up on the bag Shawn had gave me. I started to think about what could be inside of it but I couldn't come up with something. Therefor I decided to swerve of the road and stop the car to see what was inside. I opened the bag and I could see a cd inside of it, I took it out and a note fell out.

'Dear Victoria,
I hate myself for not being able to be with you but no one can predict what the future holds. Whatever you think about me now after me finally having the courage to say what I need to say, please remember that I will always love you I always care for you. I'm probably going to regret that I said this but, yes, I still do believe that we are meant to be, but in the meanwhile I need you to find someone better. The cd you see inside of the bag contains a song that I wrote for you and I really hope that you'll listen to it.
- Shawn.'

After reading the note I quickly put the cd into the player and the song started to play. When the chords came on it felt like my heart was about to brake, again.

'I know you'll find someone who,
Gives you the time I didn't give to you,
I'm running low,
I'm sorry but I have to go,
And maybe I will never feel,
You gave me something so real,
I'm running low,
I'm sorry but I have to go'

I just sat in my car and sobbed my eyes out like an idiot while listening to his song. I don't want anybody else, I am too completely, groundbreaking and passionately in love with Shawn. Loving him is like breathing and I will never stop.

After this day he continued to work on his music and I continued with my studying at Yale, he chased his dreams and so did I. I never tried to get over him though because I deeply believed that one day we would find our way back to each other and find a place where we could be together. If we are meant to be as he once said and apparently still thinks, our love will find its way back to us. I may be standing alone right now but I will always have a piece of him stuck in my heart. A piece that had grown firm.

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So this was the final chapter and thank you all for reading this book ❤️

- xx mendesfiction123