Psychopaths amongst us

A bad excuse is better than none

I never really got over that stupid mistake but I avoided Hanes after it,he had no idea why but I had myself to blame because I was not honest to Hanes,Patrick and to myself.After final year I cut all ties with Hanes but he wasn't ready to let go,what was even harder was having to work in the same firm as him but I still didn't entertain him,I won't lie it was hard but it had to be done.

Patrick was finally a medical doctor,graduated with outstanding results and came back to get a job in South Africa which he did.He worked at Entabeni Hospital as a general practitioner, I must say he was really good at his job  constantly coming home with lipstick stains of the same colour from an old lady he told me that just seemed to glow every time he had an appointment with him,probably one of those lonely grannies who never got the chance to settle down I had always thought just to make myself feel better but I wasn't really bothered and I trusted him because the lipstick colour was way to old fashioned for a 21st century type of girl.

Everything was happening so fast, after 3 years at the firm and Patrick being a doctor we finally moved a step forward and moved in together,let me just say thats another move I regret making.

I had now thought to myself, it's quiet surprising hey that I actually took the time to think for once which I was not fond of doing. So I sat down alone at a corner coffee shop in which I didn't even bother to check its name ,one of the reasons may have been because I was so caught up in my thoughts to even bother ,how I ended up inside ? Well I'm still really trying to figure that amongst trying to figure out what I've done to myself.

My parents would've been highly disappointed in me, I was so sure of that.My mother Catherine would've been turning in her grave, questioning herself in the underworld as to what she had not done right.

I honestly wouldn't mind being 10 again at this point,life had no instructions it just wanted you to live and figure it out with every passing day.I had concluded after deep thought that it was up to me to fix things which I wasn't really sure as to how I'd do it but I knew it had to be done but the thing that kept holding me back from actually even attempting is not being sure if I loved Patrick or Hanes.