Psychopaths amongst us

love is a four letter world

Going back to the apartment was such a mission,the intention of going to the cafe was to try and find some sort of resolution to this love triangle that i seem to be caught up in but nope,nothing.I  spent 5 hours just staring into blank space and blaming myself for being stuck between the guy i have known forever and the guy i have known for a few years ,years that feel like forever + day.

Was love suppose to be confusing ? Was it suppose to hurt this bad? This love that i feel in the true sense of the word is torture.Loving two men for different reasons ,having a heart so willing to accomodate both but having a mind so conflicted ,having a heart and a mind in a battle field of contrasting ideas  was tiring.

I got back home feeling drained and to my surprise back to a home of a man who is sexually frustrated because sex has to be scheduled because of work,someone please explain to me how this was to work. I open the door to be met by a scent of roses and vanilla candles,on top of the counter a note that reads ' Never could have asked for anyone better xxPatrick' aggg my heart did not even melt instead i just felt angry,angry because i would once again allow my body to be used just for the sake of putting other peoples happiness first.As i made my way to the room , i hear what was once my favourite aong sounding like a broken record and yes there he lays ,on our bed with open arms , so ready to embrace me , a me who belongs to hanes .

After a long round of agonising activities ,i just felt dirty, i sat in the shower hoping the water would take all the guilt away but it didnt, my heart wanted hanes ! Only he could make the guilt go away .Come to think of it i had not had any outreach from him in a week , its not like him , maybe he has found someone new ,no it cant be .Its 9 pm and i know my heart wont let me sleep knowing my Hanes is with someone else .

I get out of the shower only to find a note from Patrick saying he has an emergency at the hospital and he will see me tomorrow , how perfect can life be ? .I make my way to the room and put on some lingerie , knee high boots and a black dress , i get in my car and make my way to the hanes apartment.

-PATRICKS POV -

Something about her didn't seem right.even when i touched her there was no spark, she kissed me like she was kissing someone else , you could see it in her eyes that she was distant.

I had always seen in movies that people that date their best friends never work out , i was so determined to make this work but i knew , the reality was sinking in.I was losing her .

After letting her get into the shower i decided i needed some air so i slipped on some pants and a top and left , i left her a note saying i was going to work but going into the elevator something told me to go back, i decided to take the stairs as i reached our floor ,there she was looking like she just took an uber from heaven to our apartment doorstep.

I could not let her see me so i hid myself, she made her way out and down to the car park ,only for my insecurities to get the best of me so i followed her.

***************

I drove into hanes estate and saw two cars , my heart went still because i knew this car ,it was Becky's car .I knew she had a thing going for hanes but i did not think she would take it this far.

I got out the car and made my way up , only to be met by becky and Hanes,he lookes so amazing , he was in a vest and sweatpants that made everything stick out there from his built physique
To his man goods, i realized i was drooling when two fingers snapped infront of my eyes.

I looked up only to be met by his smirk and becky's mouth wide open.

'Hhhyy uhm i ' i stuttered to even formulate a complete sentence

'Hey Girl, okay bye Hanes ,talk tomorrow ' becky said as she winked at me and left.

Woooh a sigh of relief.

' hey wanna come inside ?' hanes asked with the warmest smile ever

"Uhm yeahh,sureee" i stuttered , geeez this guy makes me weak.