Empty As I Am (boyxboy)

Chapter 4

Sorry this is a really short chapter. I really haven't had time to write lately. But I will definitely try to update as soon as possible with more. Thanks for reading. Vote and comment!:)

CHAPTER FOUR

          I woke up confused. I wasn’t sure where I was at first, but then I remembered how I had gotten there. Relief swept over me. I looked around to see if the others were up, and they were. In fact, I was the only one there. I wondered where they had gone and why they hadn’t invited me to come along.

          I pulled out Jade’s picture from my backpack. I started to think back on when I first met her. I remember walking into the house and she was watching cartoons in the living room. She was the first to greet me.

          “Hi! I’m Jade!” she said in an unexpectedly cheery voice.

          ‘Who is this happy about being in a foster home?’ I thought. I felt like crying simply thinking about living there, and here she was excited. But once I got to know her, it made sense. She was only 5 when she moved into the foster home, but had already been through so much. The foster home was a new start for her, a better place than where she was. As we grew closer and she grew older, we learned more about each other. She told me that her dad left when she was born, and her mom got remarried. When her mom would leave, her stepdad would take advantage of her. He would say things to her and do things to her that no child should be exposed to. She would tell her mom, but her mom never believed her stories. Eventually she told her kindergarten teacher, who reported the stepdad. Jade’s mom lost custody of Jade because she let it happen. I thought her fate should have been much worse. To sit there and let that happen to your little girl is just horrible and whenever I looked at Jade I wanted to cry just thinking about it. I actually did feel myself tear up thinking about it in this instance. But Jade was a strong little girl. She was actually a lot stronger than me. I looked at the cuts on my arms. “Fucking pussy,” I said to myself. Jade would never be weak enough to cut herself. She was optimistic about life. I was a spineless, pessimistic, wimp. I wiped my face and put the picture back into my backpack before my thoughts caused me to upset myself anymore.

          I walked over to the sink and grabbed a washcloth to wash my face. I still looked like crap, but my bruises were healing so that was a plus. I took the opportunity to take my “whore bath”, as Jake called it. I pulled off my clothes and scrubbed my body with the soap and washcloth. It felt great to get the dirt off of me, because I definitely needed it. While finishing up, I heard the door open behind me. I dropped the washcloth and grabbed my pants and put them in front of me, trying to hide my bare body. The others walked in with a confused look. Lexi did a wolf-whistle.

          “Did we interrupt something?” asked Jake.

          “I was just washing up,” I said, embarrassed.

          “Well don’t put back on those dirty clothes. We got you some new ones.” said Lexi.

          “What? You didn’t have to buy me clothes.”

          “Oh we didn’t. Five finger discount, dear.” said Lexi.

          “You stole them?” I exclaimed.

          “Yes. Tell the whole world, dude.” said Jake.

          “But what if you had gotten caught?”

          “We didn’t. We never do.” said Dominic.

          I looked at them in disbelief. I might have done a lot of things, but stealing wasn’t one of them, not anymore. I knew how risky it was. Some of my foster brothers and I used to steal from the convenient store when I was 13. We did it on a pretty regular basis, and never thought we’d get caught. Of course we did, though. The cops threatened to bring us all to jail and described how we would be treated in there. I realize now that it was just to scare us, but it worked. It was enough to scare me into not stealing anything ever again. 

          “You should probably put some clothes on,” said Jake, getting my attention.

          “Oh yeah.” I had totally forgotten I was naked. Lexi threw me a pair of boxers. “Can you turn around?” I asked. They all obliged.

          I put them on quickly and Lexi handed me the rest of the clothes. There was a shirt, jeans, and even socks. I felt bad for putting on stolen clothes, but I knew I needed them.

          “I have money,” I told them.

          “Your money is no good here,” said Dominic.

          “You should save it for a rainy day,” added Jake.

          Damian placed some food in the corner.

          “Did you steal that too?” I asked.

          “Actually, no.” replied Damian. “Got it from the church down the street. Don’t assume shit.”

          He sounded angry but I didn’t mean to upset him. This guy seemed to really dislike me and I didn’t understand why. Jake quickly broke the tension in the room by letting out a huge, beastly fart.

          “Dude, that’s disgusting,” said Dominic past his laughter.

          “You should be used to it by now,” replied Jake.

          “No one gets used to that smell,” said Lexi.

          After grilling Jake about his fart, we made sandwiches with the bread and bologna that Damian has just brought it. I hated bologna, but anything was better than starving so I didn’t complain. To the others, it was like a gourmet meal. I wondered how they lived like this for so long. I figured I’d have to learn how as well. I finished up my sandwich as I tried to imagine how things would be in my future.