Carry | Demi Lovato and Wilmer Valderrama

Carry

Wilmer

"I need to tell you something."

Demi set a plate of food down in front of me. Her brown eyes were concerned, and fearful. She ate quietly, waiting for me to speak, but I couldn't work out how to open my mouth. But I had to. I had to tell her how I was feeling, and what was happening inside my head.

"I want a divorce." My voice was calm and even, but on the inside I was weak and shaky.

I was expecting yelling; a fight that would wake the whole neighborhood. But instead, in a small, voice that was a ghost of a whisper she spoke one word.

"Why?"

I didn't answer, I couldn't. I took a few more bites of the food she had made, thanking God our son, Alex, was out of the house for a sleepover. She didn't ask again, but I knew a million questions were running through her head. We didn't talk for the rest of the night, and when I laid down in bed, I could hear her soft crying. I knew she wanted a reason as to why I wanted to end our ten-year marriage, but my answer was too shameful to say aloud. How could I tell the woman I married, the woman who stayed by my side for over ten years, that I had fallen in love with somebody else?

The next morning I drafted the divorce papers. She could have the house, the cars, and split the ownership of the company we had built from the ground up. She would have custody of our son, and she could have all of the properties we had bought together. She could have anything she wanted. Demi glanced once at the document and ripped it in half. I felt sorry for her, but I knew this was what I wanted. I couldn't take back what I had said, and done. I had fallen in love with Lisa, a board member at my company. Once Demi had thrown the pieces of paper on the ground, she broke. For the first time, she sobbed and cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had prepared for since I made the decision to leave her. It didn't make it easier though. She flinched as though my touch burned her, and none of my words calmed her. To see and hear her cry though, was a kind of relief in itself. It solidified my decision that this was what I wanted. The idea of divorce, which seemed impossible just two years ago, was now clear and firm in my mind.

The next day I came home very late, smelling like Lisa's perfume. There didn't seem to be any point in hiding it anymore. Demi was sitting at the kitchen counter, and as I walked by her body stiffened, I knew she could smell me. I noticed she was writing, but I just walked up upstairs to go to sleep. When I awoke again at three am, I realized she still hadn't come to bed. I went downstairs where a single light in the kitchen was burning, her body still hunched over a piece of paper. I got another drink of water, then went up to bed. I didn't care if she didn't come to bed. I didn't care, and it didn't bother me.

That morning, after our son had left for school, she gave me a piece of paper with her divorce conditions on it. She didn't want anything of monetary value from me. All she asked was that for the next thirty days, we live as normally as possible. Her reasoning was simple, in a month, our son had his exams coming up and she didn't want him to be distracted by the news of our broken marriage. Once I agreed, she had another request. She asked if I remembered our wedding night, and how when we got to the hotel suite I carried her across the threshold every day we were on vacation. I remembered this of course, she had laughed every time I swept her off her feet and carried her through the door. When I told her yes, she twisted her fingers nervously, and asked in a quiet voice if for the next month, every morning, I could carry her down from our bedroom to the front door before we left for work. I thought she had gone insane, but to avoid hurting her even further, and to make our last days together more bearable, I said yes.

Immediately when I got to work that morning, I told Lisa about Demi's conditions, and she laughed it off, saying it was absurd. "Demi is going to have to face the divorce one day. No matter what tricks she pulls."