The Beauty Of The Massacre

My legs ached and my sides were cramped up. How long had it been since the Cloud Nine Project had failed? I couldn’t remember…I had lost count of the days that seemed to do nothing but drag on agonizingly slow. I stopped walking for a moment, to rest, and fell against a wall that belonged to a small run down building that used to be a Denny’s I think. I eyed my surroundings like I had been bred to do and relaxed slightly when I realized I was alone. In the conditions I lived in, sometimes being alone was dangerous…most of the time it was. But sometimes when you were alone, it meant the monsters weren't with you and that was always positive.

I was well aware that it wasn’t going to be long before darkness fell overhead and being out in the dark, even with a group, was suicide. It impaired your senses and when that happened, there was nothing left for you to do but let the monsters come to end your suffering. I pushed that thought out of my mind. Thinking negatively will get me nowhere, I had to remember that. I leaned back into the wall and shifted my weight as quietly as I could before closing my eyes. I thought about how everything had changed so quickly, as if over one day. It felt like only yesterday I was sitting with my parents on the living room floor, playing games with my little sister. I liked thinking about the happy times, the times before that day I found remains of their bodies in the street.

My eyes shot open when the images started to flicker to life behind my eyelids like an old film starting to play its storyline and I felt my stomach clench up like a balled-up fist. I hadn’t cried for a while. Jared kept constantly reminding me that crying for the dead wouldn't do anything to bring them back. I closed my eyes again, hesitantly this time, and I found the wall digging into my back strangely comforting.

I let my mind wander. I had always been told that I had a bad habit of doing that, of letting the past become my present, letting it torture me again as if it hadn't done enough damage when I first lived it. I was always left with a cliffhanger, wondering what was going to happen next even though once upon a time it happened. Sometimes, I wanted to let my mind finish the memories it was showing me, so freely, but the fits I had stopped me from doing so. The fits came every time I tried to remember. They prevented me from breathing and they were tear jerking. When the fits came over me, I could never stop shaking. Danny didn't understand why, him and Jared both are left confused. I always acted like everything was okay. I never made a big deal out of it when it happened, but I was always left terrified.

I pressed my lips together in a straight line and kept my eyes closed, even after the images of blood, tattered fingertips and unloving eyes stared back at me. There were dislocated bones, groaning, and nails made for scratching. The images my mind left me with always horrified me. Most of the memories made me want to regurgitate. I opened my eyes, slowly as if I was tired and couldn’t wake up, and I tried to calm myself as one of the fits was starting to arrive. Now wasn’t a good time to lose myself. I looked towards the sky and noted the darkening mentally. It was getting dark and it was getting dark fast. I wished I could be in Danny’s arms, at home, where it was safe. I even wished I could be back with Jared, who would just keep complaining about how I could never do anything right.

I was dragged back to reality, painfully, when I heard a noise coming from not so far away. It sounded like a twig snapping under the weight of someone’s foot but there was an eerie feeling that the snapping brought on. I froze up and slowly looked over in the direction it came from, my vision blurring slightly. Not now! This is really not a good time! A gurgling growl broke through the silence, sending a chill down my spine and causing my bones to rattle. I squeezed my eyes closed, breathing heavily and trying to adjust my sight. I reached for my gun, my fingers feeling numb and cramming up whenever I closed them. My hands felt clammy and I couldn’t think straight, my head spinning. Nausea suddenly hit me with a blow hard enough to knock me over and I felt my throat tighten. I felt like I was going to puke.

‘You need to stop caring so much.’ Danny glared across the room at Jared, his expression holding utter disapproval.

‘He can’t help it. It’s who he is’, Danny snapped, pulling me closer, protectively.

'Maybe you should try caring a bit more’, he added, rubbing my back in a comforting manner as I felt myself begin to panic. I could barely breathe. Jared pressed his lips together and aimed his thankfully empty weapon towards my head, eyeing me coldly.

‘Caring does nothing but get you killed. I should know. I cared once and I died inside.’

 

My vision adjusted temporarily to show a figure in the distance that was limping towards me. I just then realized how dark it had become and a bubbling sound caused my ears to ring.

‘Shoot the gun’, Danny aimed at a tree, smiling in my direction. I must have had a look of no-way because he turned towards me, frowning a bit. He tucked away his pistol and came over, pulling me into a hug.

‘You’re not the only one who’s lost something, Casey, but I get it. I don’t want to teach a young boy like you all these things but…Jared…it…it’s just for your safety. I don’t want to lose you too…’

I couldn’t do it. My hands were shaking too much for me to aim properly and I couldn’t see the flesh-eating monster that was a few feet in front of me. I couldn’t stop shaking. I was petrified.

‘Danny! Danny, where are you?! Save me!’

‘Danny?! Danny! Don’t leave me’, I remember screaming that one day. I was crying and repeatedly searching for Danny, I thought he’d left me. I was at home but I had woken up in the middle of the night and nothing could stop the panic that settled in.

‘Danny’, I screamed again, as loud as I could, as if I were in danger. Next thing I knew, I was being pulled into someone’s arms, being told everything was okay and that I was going to be fine. I was being comforted, told that someone was there and that nothing was going to hurt me.

 

And then…

 

I fell asleep.

“CASEY!”

I heard a voice, a familiar voice in the distance. But it was too late. Everything stopped spinning and just went black.