I Just Don't Know.

A Little Family Background

  I reached my house faster then I ever had before, have no clue why I did I would have probably been safer with that freak than in my own home. My family is kind of insane. I mean they love me and I love them but we reallly and truly can't stand each other. My mom Is a huge alcoholic and lets just say I'm not a fan of that at all. My dad Is a huge Workaholic so he's away a lot and that leaves my mother with a lot of free time and thats where she picked up her nasty habit. It actually started about three years ago, When dad started this new job. He was away for two weeks the first time and Mom was fine with that but then as his trips started taking longer she became more depressed and started drinking. I was an only child and It really worried me seeing my mom's slim body lying on the floor passed out every night and then awake to see her doubled over the toilet puking her guts up. Having to pick her up off the floor and Clean her up before I could even think about getting ready for school.

"Schweet heart cun you do me a favor?" she slurred as soon as I walked in the room.

"Yeah Mom. what do you need?"

"I need that cork schrew ova theah hunny."

   I groaned.

"Mom don't you think you have had enough to drink for one night?"

"Yesh, Yesh I do...But did I ashk yous. No I don't believe I did now yous bettah get me that cork schrew."

"Yes Mama." I did as I was told though it realley pained me to and was rewarded with my mothers beautiful smile. I would come back later as I knew soon she would be plastered weith her wine and vodka mixtures. I loved my mother more than anything in the world but to be honest I missed the times when my dad and mother were around and showering me with love and care like there was no tomorrow. Now we never knew when Dad was coming or going and Mom never knew when she would be sober or wasted.

      I walk up to my room and lie on my bed and just stare at my celing and start to relax. Next thing I knew I heard a scratching at the footof my bed and started to get up but as soon as I did my kitten, a little orange tabby we had rescued named Costello, jumped right in the middle of my belly. I fell back in a fit of laughter. Costello meowed his protest and squirmed to get comfy when I finally settled down. We layed there for a minute until I finally gave up conciousness and fell into the dream filled world of sleep.

    A Beautiful woman stands at the elementary school of Jamesville, Illinose. It's the end of her only childs first day of school and here thi little one comes her ebony ringlets bouncing with each leap. The childs sapphire blue eyes dance as she proudly announces, "Mommy!!! Hey Mommy Look what I made for you and Daddy in school today!"

   The mother smiled as her little girl Gave her a picture of their family, it even showed their cat.

   "It's beautiful baby!"

   "Thank you Momma," The child looks around, "Mommma wheres Papa?"

   "Well baby he had to go to work but he promised to be home right before we got home and that  he would have a special treat for you when we got there. We have to go to the mall first though, since you know theres a certain little miss that has a birthday comming up." The woman winked at her peering daughter.

   "Thats meeee!!!"

   "No I thought your birthday was last year."

   "It's every year momma. Everyone knows that!"

   The woman laughed as she grabbed her daughter's hand and and they walked to her car and the girl looked up only to see her "Papa" In the armsof somebody who was not her mother. She didn't understand and being a small child she didn't know any better than to think the best in everybody so she just left it alone thinking it was nothing. She just got in the car like she had seen nothing.

   I jumped up from the bed like I had been shocked. I haven't dreampt about that day in nearly two months. The day that I had once looked on with childish innocence I now looked at with hear hatred. Hatred of my father for hurting my mother and taking her away from me. Hatred burned in my blood because I knew what he had done. My mother didn't find out till about a year two years ago so you see I was forced, because of that stupid mad who fatherd me, to grow up way too fast and mother my own mother at the age of fourteen. I lay there trying to get how much I hated my father when I heard a tap on my window. I thought it was only the nearby weeping willow tree scraping it then I heard the tapping again. I slowly got up from my bed, to the disappointment of Costello, and checked outside the window. I nearly screamed when I saw Dillan's worried face staring back at me. I quickly opened the window to let him in.

   "Hey I was worried when you didn't message me back earlier."

   I looked at my computer and I had fifteen unread messages I laughed as I apologized.

   "Sorry. I have been asleep...Had another dream about my dad."

   "Oh Cass. I'm sorry...WHen he comes home this time let me know so I can either kidnap you, with the approval of your mother of course, or kill him."

   "Well I might take you up on the kidnapping but don't kill him I need you here with me not in some jail somewhere!"

   I looked at him with tears in my eyes and he finally gave me what I needed the most, a hug. I sat and sobbed in his arms. I cried for the loss of my daddy that day, I cried for the loss of my mother, I cried for anything and everything that has happened in my life. Dillan held me and I felt so safe and secure in his arms. Finally somewhere where I felt safe then all of a sudden I felt a hand under my chin lifting my face up. He's going to kiss me. I wanted it so badly.

   Then all of a sudden the door burst open.

   "I'm home baby!"

   I looked up just in time to see my dad in all his snake charmers glory smiling like he was as innocent as a new born babe and all the hatred came rushing back and I knew he must die.