The Notebook Never Sleeps

The Club of Angels

Despite my fear of heights, I walked to her side. She was crying without tears, but after a second or two, tears dropped out of her eyes in small, crystal-like drops of blue. She was sad, but beautiful. She cried and cried, her otherworldly tears being absorbed by the earth below us. I didn't know how to comfort her. I felt angry at her for crying so much.

What is wrong with you?

Her falling, magnificent tears stopped in time. She didn't look up at me, but she replied, smiling with teeth - suddenly as untroubled as a small child.

I want to die.

I smiled back, understanding.

All of us do. I'm sorry.

She shook her head, angry.

This is stupid. This shouldn't be heaven.

I shrugged.

I doubt it is.

I looked down at the darkness that Nina scrutinized every night while all of Heaven was soundless and asleep. We sat down on the faultless, soft grass that didn't give off the pacifying, pungent smell of grass back in the World. We couldn't see our legs, (which were dangling off the edge), for they were being hugged by the darkness. The darkness seemed to be the only thing that was warm. Nothingness. It appeared to be more heavenly than the immaculateness of Heaven. An end to all. Sad souls were known to come here when they couldn't find their place in all of the conventional perfection. They threw themselves at the darkness, allowing it to encircle them and enter every crevice. They'd continue falling, but lulled into an eternal sleep. Higher beings that set the regulations greatly frowned upon this, constantly emphasizing that the sad souls were never worthy of being in Heaven anyway. Scared of the idea of being unworthy, the others in Heaven only expressed discontent inside their homes, shying away from any delicate conversations about who they were before they got to Heaven.

Should we do it?

I was startled, but answered her calmly.

What if it doesn't work? What if someone's watching us right now?

I turned around to look if someone was watching, but she stood still, replying me.

They'd be too late.

    As my anxiousness stopped, there was a silence between us. She suddenly pressed her lips on mine, soft and moving them slowly. I kissed her all the way down to her breasts, but she stopped me.

    Don't pull away from my lips.

    I kissed her quickly on her lips, but leaned away again, penitently.

    Nearing eventuality, we held hands, loose but still together. Looking away from each other and laughing, we let ourselves out fall into the pool of shadows.