rooftop sinning

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June 27, 2012 (Age 14)

Dear Diary, 

I traveled far, until I had reached the border. 

The small city remained in the back of my head; 

I gained speed. 

I had pulled over to rest my injured head (and heart), 

I encountered a small bar. 

"Mikes", it was called. 

The small skirt I had worn since Father's death was even smaller now. 

My thighs were spread, 

a vast emptiness in between them. 

Where had my skin gone? 

Where had my logic gone?

Where had my heart gone? 

The roof was exposed, 

out in the open air. 

I felt free. 

The amber colored liquid burned my throat, 

yet I continued to down glasses. 

I felt    e m p t y.

I felt     n u m b. 

I felt     n o t h i n g. 

I    l i k e d    i t. 

That scared me, Elle. 

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