Human

Chapter One

"Night" My dad said effortlessly.

My aunty's always said that dads never been the same after what happen,

I guess you could say; 'He lost his spark' , 'His meaning in life'.

My mum hung herself when I was 6, it was just her, my little sister and myself at home. Allie was only one and a half so she remember nothing of mum. My mum, took her own life right in front of me. That memory will stay with me forever.

I remember what she done and said to me before she done it.

***FLASH BACK***

"Now sweetie, you know mummy loves you. Tell Allie that I love her too, you're both my little princesses, I know I won't be around by baby, but I'll always be with you in here." She puts her palm over her heart. "Now baby, I'm sorry that I won't be here for your future birthdays, I won't be here when you find that special someone, when you are feeling down, I won't be able to hug you, I won't be here when you marry that special him or her." She said through sobs, "Be careful honey, it's not you're fault. I'll always remember you and Allie, you're both my little angels. Take care of Allie, never leave each others sides. I'm so sorry my darling."

Then she kissed me and hugged me. She walks over to Allie softly kissing her and hugging her then walks back to the chair, puts the rope around her neck. It was tied to the fan.

She stepped off the chair in the loungeroom with the rope around her neck.

She squirmed for a little bit.

I sat watching her.

When she stopped moving I stood up and said "Mum, are you okay?"

She didn't reply. I went up to her and poked her.

Mum was a nurse and she'd taught me a few things.

I put my tiny fingers around her wrist and felt for a palse.

My vision went blurry. And I started crying.

"Mum?" I whispered. Tugging at her leg.

"Come on mummy, wake up"

"Mummy"

She still didn't answer me, she was gone.

"I love you" I whispered into her leg.

I went and got Allie from her play mat and picked her up. Hugging her, I don't know how long we sat there for but Allie fell asleep, I was tired but I couldn't sleep.

Dad eventually came home.

He walked in to see me, still crying at the door. He knelt down "What's wrong sweetie?"

"I-it's, m-mum." I stuttered.

His face dropped and he looked across the room to see my mum swinging from the ceiling fan.

All I heard was a scream. And then it all went black.

I had a fit.

I'm epileptic.

**** BACK ****

Well anyway I don't tell many people that story. It obviously personal.

I had nightmares for years and I still have the odd one every now and then.

Well anyway that's in the past now. I have Anxiety too, so that makes it harder.

I loved my mum, like every six year old little girl does. I obviously still didn't understand what was happening but I knew that mum was never coming back.

I used to live with my aunty, but she tried to kill herself, my mum was her bestfriend, her sister-in-law and they did everything together. She's in a mental home now. I visited her there once, but I freaked out, had a panic attack, had a fit and fainted. The perks of being me. *sigh*, now Dad won't let me go back there. He's only human, I suppose, just caring for his daughter, but I love my aunty and I miss her.