:: hopelessly :: // joshler one shot

:: hopelessly ::

- joshs p.o.v. -

I was sitting on a black leather couch, scrolling through Twitter tweets from the clique, liking and retweeting a few. Tyler was sitting beside me with his shoeless feet propped up on the wooden coffee table in front of us.

It was silent, we were both on our phones. He probably was doing the same thing I was doing.

The silence was tampered with by Tyler's small and seemingly awkward shifts in his seat. I looked up at him and noticed an upset look covering his face. He probably read another negative comment about the band.

He was staring at something, his thumb hovering over the screen. He scrunched his eyebrows together before his finger started scrolling upwards rapidly, shaking his head in dismissal.

He sighed, upturning his eyebrows.

"What's wrong, Tyler?" I asked him, concerned.

"Hm?" he questioned, looking up from his phone straight at me.

"Is there somethong wrong?" I asked again.

"Oh, uh, no, not at all, I'm fine, Josh, really," he assured me with a smile that i could tell was forced.

"Tyler, I just saw you scroll through your phone and stop on something that clearly made you upset," I told him.

He looked down at his hands, his phone still in one, and started fiddling with his fingers, remaining silent.

I sighed.

"Ty, listen, I know there's people out there who say negative things about our music and about our fans and stuff, but please remember that they're not worth the distress because we have the whole entire clique on our side and they clearly lo-,"

"No, no, Josh. Nobody said anything negative about anything." he clarified, sighing before setting his phone down on the wooden coffee table.

He turned so he was facing me, his legs crossed, with his hands folded in his lap.

"Okay, okay..," he sighed, "something did upset me, but I didn't want to tell you.."

"Why? What was it?" I asked him, worried.

"I saw a picture, an edit, of us..kissing.. you know how those are..and it just, upset me, i don't know." he said looking back down at his hands.

I couldn't help but feel a little hurt, did Tyler really not like people romanticizing us that much?

"I know, I know, but we've been surrounded by these kinds of things for years now, it's just what happens, since we're two boys in a band, i guess, but i understand if you hate when they..romanticize us." I said, trying to hide the small amount of hurt.

"No, no! I don't hate it. The edit in particular wasn't what upset me..it's the questions and thoughts about it that i had that did.." he admitted, chewing on his nails.

My heart picked up speed.

"Which were?" I questioned.

"What if..no, nevermind, it's stupid, I'm stupid, forget i said anything." he said, turning away and folding his arm, looking hurt and confused.

"Tyler, please just tell me, you're worrying me." I stated quietly.

He looked back up at me, like a sad puppy, and turned back to me.

"What if..we were to try?" he asked me, trailing off the last word.

"Try what?" I asked, oblivious to what he meant.

"What if we were to try..like..k-kissing, just once, to see what it's like, y-you know?" he said shakily, biting his lip.

It was like my heart stopped beating. I had obviously loved Tyler in a platonic way, but I always felt like there was something more, like a fuse, wanting to catch fire and hold it, but with certain boundaries, it may have just been lit for moments, then charred beyond use.

I could tell he was terrified of what my answer could be like, though I knew he knew I'd never hurt him. Maybe he just felt bad about thinking these things, because of Jenna and all.

"Oh.." I said quietly.

It was silent for a couple of moments, us both looking down at our hands, slightly turned away from each other, unsure of what to say.

"Do you want to?" I asked him,

He met my eyes and his cheeks turned a small tint of pink.

"I mean..yeah..why else would i ask you?" he told me.

I shrugged and smiled, turning towards him again. Was this actually going to happen?

"Then kiss me, Joseph." I said softly.

I scooted closer to him and cupped his chin in my hands as he placed his on my chest.

I brought my lips centimeters away from his. I could hear him swallow thickly, as did I. Our eyelashes fluttered shut, before our lips collided.

Fireworks.

His soft lips against mine. dancing.

Were we dancing?

He reached his hand to grip my head and pull me closer. His lingered on mine for a couple seconds more before we opened our eyes and pulled away from each other. I rested my forehead on his, my hands still cupping his face. I breathed out slightly, looking up to see brown eyes.

A small smile formed on my lips and he was smiling right back, biting his lip, and a chuckle leaving him.

The fuse. It had been lit. I felt it in my bones, like every atom in my body had been awaken. This had actually happened.

I kissed my best friend, and it was the best kiss I had ever received.

Maybe it was because it wasn't just somebody random. It wasn't just somebody I didn't really feel conected towards.

It was because it was simply Tyler.

I knew then, that I loved this boy.
I loved Tyler.

Everything from his ruby lips.
To the way he picked at his fingernails when he was nervous or didn't know what to say.

I loved the entirety of Tyler.
And I hadn't really known it until now, for boundaries kept these things at bay.

And i couldn't be happier that they were somewhat free.

I felt his hand manuever over to mine, to one that was still cupped onto his cheek.

I was confused until I felt fingers lace with mine.

I lifted my forehead off of his and looked into his chocolate eyes, taking in the beauty that was him.

I shifted myself to lay down on the couch, and I felt him lay on my chest, his cheek pressed against it, our hands still intertwined. He breathed out softly.

"What do you do when you might be hopelessly in love with your best friend?" he asked me, breaking the silence.

"Hm, that's a hard one, just keep loving them, because I'm sure they won't ever stop being hopelessly in love with you, either." I assured him softly, rubbing circles with my thumb over his.

He sighed, though a happy sigh this time.

I must've spent quite some time thinking, for I could hear Tyler's soft breathing and I could feel his slow heartbeat against my chest. He had fallen asleep. I was tired, as well. This whole situation had exhausted me.

I tried moving slightly without bothering him, but I felt his hand grip my shirt in his fist.

"Stay." he slurred sleepily, before laying his head back on my chest.

I couldn't leave.
Not that I had any inclination to now.
I smiled at him, before leaning over and kissing his forehead, a small smile forming from his lips.

"Goodnight, Ty." I said softly, before I was taken by sleep as well.