The PAST won't LAST || Gray

002

"My Y/N,

I'm sorry. Sorry for not keeping my promise to you. Sorry for suddenly leaving you. Sorry for not being able to give you a future. Sorry for everything.

I hope you can forgive me when you read this letter. I just couldn't tell you, it hurts me too much to see you cry. Maybe, I am selfish after all. I didn't want to tell you that I was sick and dying any moment because I didn't want you to be burdened and to cry in front of me. That is the worst scene I could possibly think of.

Don't blame yourself too much. Don't think of anything bad. I want you to live happily even though I am not there with you physically but I am always here beside you. I will never leave you. I will always love you.

You must be crying a lot? Did you lock yourself up? Are you not eating? Are you not going to get up? Are you not going to go out?

I hope the answers to those are no but I know you so well that it's all yes.

Y/N. Don't cry for me, don't lock yourself up for me! I would hate to see you do those because of me.

Eat for me, go out for me. Those are what I want you to do. Live well for me, Y/N.

I love you.

Forever and always,

Your Gray."

How do I not cry? How do I eat? How do I go out?

HOW?!

Tears flowed against my cheeks.

Just why does it have to be you?

"Don't cry for me."

I closed my eyes stopping any more tears to come out. I got all the courage to stand up and open the door.

"Y/N." Hana looks at me in shock.

"Sorry, Hana. Sorry." I did my best to supress my tears.

"No..no..no." Hana runs to me to hug me tightly.

"What's the food?" I asked to lighten up the mood.

"Uhm..." Hana so flustered of my question starts to list all the food out, "There's eggs, bacon, pancake, I ordered chicken wings and pizza just in case, there's rice and instant noodles and coke, water, juice. And--and... Ice cream cake, ice cream, chocolate, cake then--"

"Hold on... there's visitors?" I opened my mouth wide open.

"Uhm, no. It's just in case... I wanted to cheer you up any how but I don't know how so I got everything for you."

This time, I couldn't hold it in anymore. My tears fell to the ground.

"Shit... Why? Did I say something?" Hana tries to calm me down.

I shake my head, "Thank you."

"Anything for you to smile." Hana gives me a hug then leads me to eat.

"Would you like to go anywhere? I just received my paycheck sooooo I can treat you anywhere." She smiles widely at me.

I inhaled deeply, "Can we go to Sunghwa?"

She nods, "Of course. Right now? I'll drive you there."

"Thanks." I gave her a reassuring smile that I'll be okay.