The PAST won't LAST || Gray

001

IF I ONLY KNEW.

I would have called you Gray everyday. I would've done everything you wanted that day and before those days. I would've have talked to you all day. I would've told you how much I love you.

I would've. I would've only if I knew.

"Y/N..." Hana, my close friend pulled me into her arms as I cried so much that I couldn't breath. It hurts too much...so much.

"Y/N. Please stop crying. Please. He would be hurting, too if he sees you like this. Y/N please." Hana desperately tries to calm me down but I just can't handle the pain right now.

Why? All I could ask is why?

Hana hugs me tightly.

After hours passed, I ran out of tears and I pitifully hugged myself. Hana stared at me with sad eyes, "Y/N... Are you hungry? We can go to your favourite restaurant and I will pay! We can go anywhere you want!"

I didn't even bother to look at her, Hana stopped talking and closed the door to leave me alone. Again and again, tears started to flow and I couldn't sleep. I would but then wake up again from having dreams of him turning to nightmares.

I could hear the door open time to time, Hana kept checking on me. I felt sorry for her for the burden I am giving her. But I just can't accept what just happened.

Sunghwa...

GRAY!! I wanted to shout so badly but my throat hurts from holding in my cry. My head starts to hurt, too. Everything just hurts.

How do I get through this when the person who can cheer me up is gone?!

GONE.

"Y/N, You know that I love you right? So please can't you stay by my side?" His words echo in my mind.

But how come you're the one that left me? How can I stay when you left?

You didn't even give me a warning. You just went.

Why does it have to be you?

Hana came in once again in the morning and I still refuse to get up.

"Y/N? I cooked breakfast... You should eat. I'm getting worried. If you think you're burdening me, you're not at all. I will stay by your side so don't think as if everyone left you. I'm always here. Y/N, please eat. Get up." Hana puts her hand on my shoulder as I turn my back at her. "Y/N, I understand you so don't feel alone. The pain of losing someone will always stay with you but also the memories they gave you."

I tried to keep them in but again, my tears fell. I could hear my sniffles that it's no secret I am crying again.

"Y/N. I don't know if this is the right moment but Sung--hwa gave me something to give to you when you're in this state." Hana puts something in front of me then leaves. Hearing his name gave me a stab in the heart.

When Hana left, I grabbed the thing in front of me. It's a letter, I guessed.