Mischief Managed!

8.

"It is a pity," Snape said quite clearly to his cauldron, unfortunately named Bert, during Potions on Tuesday morning, "that Gryffindor are forced to resort to choosing female team members for their Quidditch team. One…supposes that they must feel rather depressed that they won because Ravenclaw are too weak to knock that girl in the head with a Bludger."

Slughorn laughed jovially. "Honestly, Severus!" he murmured, shaking his head and moving on, clearly under the impression that the boy was mad since three of the players of the afore-slandered team were sitting behind him.

James rolled his eyes, clearly bored.

"Is that the best you can do, Snivelly?"

Snape threw Bert a very nasty look indeed. "Funny how a Slytherin's best will always surpass a Gryffindor."

Sirius's scowl deepened. "I swear, if he tells that bloody hunk of pewter one more thing…"

Remus gave Snape a pitying look. "It's not Severus' fault he's lonely," he said, with an equal clarity to that which Snape used.

James suppressed a laugh as the back of Snape's normally sallow neck turned a delicate shade of pink.

As he opened his mouth, however, Lily was happening to sweep past, which was very unfortunate for James, who was in the motions of exclaiming mockingly:

"But Remus, a Bert isn't simply a cauldron! She's my life!"

Which caused Lily to smirk and raise her eyebrows, and James to blush.

"I think Bert is a male name," Peter whispered helpfully.

"Another one for the tally," Sirius murmured to Remus. James looked at them questioningly.

"Well, Prongs, we figured a three-strikes-and-you're-out system might be useful, but you're already up to seven today, so I'm afraid we have a bit of work to do."

"Right," James growled, as Sirius openly smirked and Remus hid a smile.

"Right," James reiterated, even more livid when he realised everyone was laughing at him. "What Snape needs, I think, is a lesson in some Gryffindor team spirit. How about it, lads?"

"What are you four up to?" Lily demanded as she walked past the Marauders, who were gathered around the coffee table in the Heads' common room as she walked past on her way to dinner. She did not miss Remus subtly vanishing a slip of parchment.

"Nothing, Evans, flower of my heart," Sirius told her, mocking Art's tone of voice, which caused Lily to make a nasty gesture toward him before leaving the common room.

James sighed, running his fingers through his already ruffled hair.

"Not getting any better, mate?" Sirius asked sympathetically.

James shrugged. "She's good sometimes. When no one else is around. And when I haven't done or said anything too stupid."

"It's worse than we thought, isn't it?"

"Oh yeah."

"I know they're up to something," Lily insisted to Emmeline over dinner when the Marauders didn't appear. "Since when do they miss dinner?"

Little did she know the Marauders were feasting on food begged from the house-elves.

Emmeline shrugged, tucking into her shepherd's pie. "More for the rest of us," she said through a mouthful.

"Since when have you cared before, Lily? You find them just as funny as everyone else," Alice pointed out fairly.

"True," the red-head conceded. "But I do think that they ought to have grown up by now, don't you?"

Isadora laughed. "Stop trying to expect more from them that they're willing to give, Lil. Standards are fine as long as you don't impose them on others."

"I think Lily is secretly very fond of the boys," Marlene announced, examining her face. Lily blushed, leaving Marlene to crow triumphantly.

"I knew it!"

"Lily's going to hate me," James moaned, miserable.

Remus patted his shoulder comfortingly. "From what I've heard, it can't get much worse anyway, Prongs."

"Do you want to bet on that, Moony?" James replied darkly. He squeezed his eyes shut momentarily, before opening them again. "All right, I'm ready."

"Would you like to do the honours, Mr Moony?"

"I would like that very much, Mr Padfoot. Cheer up, Mr Prongs."

"You forgot Mr Wormtail," Peter bleated plaintify.

"No one cares about Mr Wormtail," Sirius responded nastily.

"Mr Padfoot!"

Lily spent the evening in the Gryffindor common room with Emmeline, Marlene and Isadora. Alice was a few metres away flirting with Frank Longbottom.

"Aren't they cute?" Marlene sighed enviously, watching Frank's face light up as Alice laughed.

Isadora tittered her agreement, which made Lily shake her head.

"Honestly!" she told Emmeline. "If they're that desperate for boyfriends, I'm sure there are lots of people who would like to date them."

Emmeline looked at Lily doubtfully. "Lily Evans, when will you learn that most of us don't care if lots of people would date us. There's always a special, unattainable someone, for all of us."

Lily was shocked. "I don't believe in unrequited love, Emmy!" she replied, before gving her friend a searching look. "So who is it, then?"

Emmeline rolled her eyes. "Lily, you can't just ask that! Even if you are my best friend."

"Emmy likes Benjy Fenwick," Isadora piped up teasingly. Emmeline blushed, glaring at her friend.

"How did you know?" she demanded, abashed.

"You talk in your sleep," Marlene replied easily. "Where are the Marauders tonight?" she added casually.

"Marlene has a crush on Black," Emmeline added, smiling falsely. "Since we seem to be sharing, that is."

Marlene opened her mouth to object, then stopped, depressed. "It's not even worth lying about, is it?"

Lily shrugged, feeling strange. "I'm not going to tell anyone. Why don't you just ask them out, if you like them so much?"

The girls all exchanged aggrieved looks. "Lily, just because Art Scamander asked you doesn't mean everyone is so lucky."

"Oh!"

Lily stood bolt upright, surprised. "I'm sorry – I was supposed to meet him! Oh gosh, I hope he isn't angry again, I completely forgot!"

The three girls watched as their dishevelled friend dashed out through the portrait hole.

"It's a pity she doesn't even love him," Isadora sighed. "They make such a cute couple."

"Looks aren't everything, Izzie," Emmeline reminded her softly. This was a very timely statement, as the Marauders happened to enter the common room, and Emmeline caught James' scanning look. "In fact, I think Art is completelythe wrong person for our Lily."