The Tears of Clara Walton (ON HOLD)

Chapter 1

chapter 1

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I woke up with a startle as I felt warmness slowly seeping down my face. “Not again,” I groaned slowly standing up from my warm bed. My bones in my feet cracked and I tiptoed into the hallway. I didn’t want to wake up my mom just yet.

                “Toots, is that you?” I heard a tired, young voice whisper. I craned my neck to see my six year old little sister staring at me. “Clara, you nose is bleeding again!” she franticly whispered.

                “I know Cass, go back to bed okay.” My sister shook her head and walked over to me as she wiped the sleep from her eyes. Cassidy grabbed my hand and led me to the bathroom.

                Cassidy held a tissue to my nose as she soothed my hair. My six year old sister was very motherly at such a young age. I never knew my condition would not only age me but my little sister as well. “Tootsie?” I nodded at her with a ghost of a smile to give her reassurance I was listening. “When did these start happening again? Are you gonna get sick again?” I could hear the slight tremble in her voice causing me to turn my face away from her.

                “Cass, I’m fine. I’m going to be okay,” I wasn’t exactly sure if I was trying to persuade her or myself. She nodded seeming to accept my answer and turned to leave the bathroom.

                “I love you Clara, good night.” She slowly slipped out of the bathroom and shut the door. I could hear the small patter of her feet trailing down the hallway to her princess room.

                “I love you too,” I whispered knowing full well she couldn’t hear me yet knowing I said gave me a small sense of peace.

                I knew this was it. I am a seventeen year old girl. My body had been through so much ever since my small age of five. I had a disease, not just any disease, cancer. Ever since I was little I remembered the fear people would have when they would say cancer. It wasn’t like saying was going to offend me or even make it go away. I accepted the fact that I had leukemia about six months after my diagnosis. It wasn’t really hard considering I was five and didn’t know that leukemia would be so painful and deadly. I was just a young girl obsessed with Barbie movies and macaroni and cheese. My babysitter Hannah was the one that noticed something was wrong with me. At first, she thought my parents were abusing me and confronted them about. My parents were horrified and denied it profusely. Of course my parents never abused me, but with any type of cancer you just bruise so easily. My parents took me to the doctors and, well, obviously we found out I had cancer.

                “I’m so done,” I cried as the blood from my nose fell freely, now mixing with my salty tears. I was tired and my body was giving up. I pushed myself up from the ground slowly and slightly shaking. I got up and looked at my red rimmed eyes in the mirror. I couldn't even recognize myself. who am I? What am I going to do? I stood there just staring at myself and noticed my hair that had finally reached my shoulders. I slightly ran my fingers through it and cried. I have to do chemo again. I had made up mind. "You can do this."

Making this revelation caused me to grow even more tired if physically possible; I slowly dragged myself to my room and plopped down in my bed. I laid down my head on my pillow and just stared up at the ceiling. Every ten minutes or so a car would drive by rattling the sewer plate in my street. Silently tears fell from my eyes. I am scared, no, I am terrified.  

Silently i heard my door open and then shut again. Little pitter patters were heard as Cass made her way to my bed. She climbed up as if the bed was a huge mountain and swung her tiny legs up to hit me in my gut. I made an incoherent sound and she started to profusely apologize. I just smiled down at her a gave her a kiss on the forehead. 

"Toots."

"Yeah Cass?"

"I'm scared you're gonna die," Cassidy whispered in a barely audible voice. Tears were streaming down my face now coming in loads.

"Sissy, I'm not gonna die," I reassured her in the strongest voice I could muster.

"Promise?"

"I promise."

Not even two minutes later, I heard the slight snore of Cassidy coming from next to me. She was clutching on to me with the most strength her tiny body could muster. I may be done trying to live for myself, but Cassidy needs her older sister; I am gonna live for her.

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