Letters

Part 3- A letter to the boy with a panic disorder

To the boy with a panic disorder, who worries too much about the illness itself,

Its okay.

In a society that doesnt understand that boys too have fully functional ear ducts, I can only imagine how difficult it is to live with something that makes your breathing stop and tears start at the slightest thing. There have been so many times when I have seen you stop breathing and start panicking not because of the situations, but because of your reaction to them.

I cant count the too many times when your anxiety has grown and gotten worse to the point where you cant hear anything beyond the bare silence of your mind, not because life sucks (it always does, though) but because you have a panic disorder and you are having an anxiety attack and OH GOD you are crying but you cant (you can, and you should).

So this is for you, exclusively for you, only for you.

Its okay to cry. You are a human being before anything else and hey, Im telling you that you can cry, everyone else can just shut up.

Its okay to be anxious, and its okay to ask for help. No you arent omnipotent and no there is no rule that says boys cant break down. You arent weak, it takes strength to ask for help.

Its okay to be sensitive and vulnerable. Its okay to be jumpy. Its okay to be fidgety. Its  all fine.  Its who you are, it shows how raw you are. Its all a part of who you are, and society gets no say in who you should be.

To the boy with a rough surface and sharp edges, who has been trying to smoothen his creases out for the longest time now,

Its okay.

To the boy who is more anxious about the societys reactions to his tears than the tears themselves,

Its okay.

Everything is fine. Everything is normal. Your tears, your pills, YOU.

You are unique. You are normal. You are fine.

You are you, and not a categorical representative for a chromosome.

Its okay, and Im here.