Not Yet (A Hermione Granger fanfic)

Chapter 21

A/N: Sorry I took so long to post this week. I don't think it'll be this long again between posts.

*******Chapter TWENTY-ONE*******

Waking up in this position is more difficult than falling asleep in it. Hermione is cold. She wakes slowly, confused as to why she's on top of the covers. Then she remembers.

Her head and arm are still on Severus's chest, which is clothed only in a thin t-shirt. He moved his own arm sometime in the night. It's out from under the covers, his hand covering hers. She thinks that if she could just slip out of his bed before he wakes, maybe he'd think it was all another dream.

When she tries to move her arm, though, Severus grabs her hand.

"Don't," he says.

"I thought you were sleeping."

"Haven't been for a while . . . I was waiting on you to wake up."

"Oh."

"Is that all you're going to say?" His deep voice feels even more rumbly with her head on his chest.

Now that Hermione is awake, she realizes just how cold she really is. She tucks herself in closer to his body. They've already slept together—might as well make it more comfortable.

Severus takes his hand off hers for a moment to perform a wandless warming spell over her. The warmth spreads from Hermione's chest out to her fingers and toes, almost like sinking into a warm bath. She sighs in appreciation.

"Was it bad?" he asks.

"Yes," she breathes. "You . . . I thought someone was attacking you."

Severus traces a circle on the top of her hand with his thumb. "Sorry."

"Stop apologizing. You can't help it."

"I can tonight—Dreamless Sleep Potion ought to do it."

Hermione almost wishes he wouldn't take any. Then she feels guilty. Wishing Severus would have more nightmares so she has an excuse to get closer? Not okay, Hermione. So she says, "A Dreamless Sleep Potion won't help the cause. Isn't there a way you can work all that out of your system? Like talking about it or—"

He laughs quietly. "Talk about it with whom—you? No offense, but I wouldn't burden anyone with those memories. And anyway, the nightmares are actually better than they used to be."

Hermione suppresses a shudder. They used to be worse? When she doesn't say anything else, Severus shifts so he can wrap his other arm around her. He gives her a squeeze before saying, "Don't worry about it. It's not anything I can't live with."

They lay together a while, neither speaking. If they move, they might be embarrassed, or the tension from the previous day would return. But Hermione feels safe for the moment, even in her vulnerability.

"Severus?"

"Hmm?"

"So, about the other night . . ." She pauses, unsure if what she is about to say will be welcome.

Severus holds his breath, his heartbeat quickening beneath her ear.

"Yes?" he prompts.

Oh why does she feel like a thirteen-year-old girl again?

His arm around her slackens. "Are you sorry about it?" he whispers.

"Wha—no! If I were, I wouldn't be lying in your bed."

He relaxes beneath her, but his heart rate doesn't slow.

Hermione raises her head to look at him. Severus is looking at her, his eyes wary, but not hard. She takes that as a good sign and plunges in. "Did you mean it when you said you were attracted to me?"