TW: EATING DISORDER!
I'm so close to a relapse.
I'm not eating as much anymore.
My stomach is to big,
And so is my tights,
I have started to get a double chin,
I want to be pretty and skinny is it to much to ask for.
I want to be one of those girls who everyone look at.
I want to be one of those girls who every girl is dying to be.
I just want to be good enough.
Right now food makes me sick.
I have to fight myself from puking up.
I have to fight the urge to start training right now.
Because I know, if I start training now,
I'll also stop eating,
and I know I'll over train,
I've been there and I don't want to be there again.
But I'm feeling so miserable with myself.
Everyone around me is beautiful and there I am.
Why can't I just look like someone else?
I wished that since I was a kid, and nothing has changed.
Nothing changes,
Nothing at all.
