Can't Help Falling In Love

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       Life is difficult, I understand this. i also understand that no matter how horrible your life is there's always someone whose is worse. But i cant help to understand what i ever did to deserve this toxic life of mine. what have i done to put god against me? When will anything good ever happen to me? Yes, i completely understand some good things happen my life isn't a complete wreck but when something does happen it causes my whole world to come crashing down. I sit, pondering and rethinking the meaning of life. Why were we brought here? Is life supposed to be this way? Why do we do the things we do even if we know there wrong? What is love? questions no one can answer accurately. Every one tries to find the meaning of life but the only fact is , everyone has there own meaning of life. Everyone has there own reason that they wake up in the morning and continue on in this decrepit world. Everyone has one thing that makes there lives meaningful and worth living. The thing that makes them rethink in there darkest moments. its so hard to live when that meaning has been taken away. When all you have left is yourself and and a shattered view of how love is supposed to be.  At this very moment I am in complete shock at the life god has given me. At this very moment the only pain i feel is in my heart. At this very moment i am alone in the world. The slow beat of my heart and the chill of cold tears rolling down my cheeks helps distract from the chill of the frigid rusty blade in my hand. I replay they situation in my head. I did nothing wrong yet he packed up his bags and drove away, my one love in this world, gone. I prepare my body for the pain im about endure. I jump as the door swings open. The razor makes a low noise as it falls from my hands and hits the tile. A tear hits the floor next to the deteriorating door i collapse to the floor and breakdown. i feel warm hands wrap around my body and pick me up. Im placed into my bed . The comforters are pulled over me. I sit up and try to find his silhouette in my dimly lit room. My eyes soon find his tear stained face i hear light sobbing and sniffling. Still in this state he is the most beautiful thing i have ever laid my eyes on. I crawl out of my bed slowly removing the covers from my shaky body. i slowly walk over to him, and climb onto his lap he grips my body and cry's into my body. I gather up all my strength and grip his face. I press my lips to his and slowly whisper "You are my only thing that makes my life worth living, with out you i am dead inside."