Hey it's nai xx
Janai's POV (couple months later)
May 26 4:03 am
I can't hate the ones who made me..
"Happy birthday, nai!" My close friend Amy Hanrahan said to me. Amy and my other friend Emily slept over at mine for my birthday. I don't even know why, but it didn't feel complete with Kayleigh. We've talked a few times here and there, I really want to be close with her. She just won't get off of my mind, and I really really like her to be one of my close mates.
I smiled at Amy and I felt so sick from eating those stupid, yummy nachos. I retched and Amy looked at me concerned.
"you alright?" she asked.
I nodded but I still felt like crap. Emily and I wanted brekkie, but Amy didn't want to get up just yet. Emily looked at me and we went out to the kitchen, we looked into the fridge and Emily wanted nachos, I nearly yelled at her. I just nodded and let Emily put them into the microwave. Once the microwave beeped, Emily took it out and divided them between the two white porcelain bowls that my mum owns. Amy came out and she looked absolute knackered. I hugged Amy and we moved out into the lounge room to watch Harry Potter. They were on their phones the whole time, while I was watching the movie. I felt a tinge of sadness.
FLASHBACK
"I promise I'll visit you for your birthday," my biological dad said.
I nodded, not sure whether or not to believe him.
Dad gave me one last hug, and I burst into tears. He left mum and I when I was born and here he is doing it all over again.
"don't cry baby girl," he cooed hugging me tighter. I pushed against him and went into the bathroom of my grandma's house.
"Janai, please don't do this. Let me in,"
"No. You broke my heart, you can easily do it again, I'm 12 years old now. I've grown up, and I realise what your really capable of. Your a monster, I can't ever directly look you in the eye, after what you did to mum. I hate you, I can't actually believe you have the hide to show up and see me from out of the blue. I don't trust you and I'll never love you," I shouted letting tears come down like waterfalls.
"if you really feel that way, Janai, I'll stay away from you," he said.
"Good. Leave," I lied through gritted teeth.
END OF FLASHBACK
I shuddered and closed my eyes. I can't deal with this right now. I got up and walked into the bathroom, I opened the cupboard and I found my razor, I cut my wrists and thighs. I blew a breath, and I nearly fainted, I covered it up and I walked into my room putting on a hoodie, and trackies.
I got a text and I looked down.
Christian<3: happy birthday!! xx
me: aw! u remembered
Christian< 3: how could I forget? ur b'day is something that's memorable
me: ugh.
Christian<3: birthday cuddles, 2nite?
me: pleeaasseee xx.
Christian<3: I'll be there at 7.
Shit, he'll see my cuts tonight. I shrugged, he's seen them before. He's kissed them before. He doesn't see me any differently. It's funny how people feel for others, aye ?
