Invictus

III. The Omnipresent Silence

The silence consumes you. Nothing prepares you for the overwhelming quiet of the darkness of space. The only sounds that I hear now are of the thoughts surging throughout my mind; so loud against the empty canvas of space, they become deafening. And yet, these thoughts are what keep me alive. They are fragments of the memory of home, memories of what have become familiar. Memories of which I have taken for granted my entire life, and memories that I'm afraid I will never have the opportunity to relive again.

I love you, Samantha.

I'm so very sorry.

Suddenly, the artificial sound of static crackles into life in my ear, like a car struggling to turn over.

**Chris...Chris...can you read me?**

A voice breaks the silence. For a brief moment, I believe it to be my own. "Hello...? Is anyone there..?", I ask in utter disbelief. "Chris...Christ, we thought we lost you. What's your SITREP?", the voice asks. Still in somewhat of a shock, I tried to reply. "Everyone...everyone is dead..I'm drifting away from the site...at this rate, I'll break free of Earths orbit. Whoever you are...please. Help me." A momentary silence takes over the airwaves. I'm sure they're in as much shock and disbelief as I am. "Chris, it's me. Donnie. I know you're in complete shock right now, but I need you to listen to me."

Donnie. Thank Christ. Donnie, or Don Dickerson as the higher ups called him, was a test pilot for the US Air Force before applying for the NASA program. We both came from a similar background, so naturally we quickly become close friends. Today he just so happened to be one of the 5 astronauts stationed on the International Space Station, among a heard of cosmonauts. His voice was the only thing keeping me from falling into my own thoughts; the only thin line keeping me in touch with humanity.

"Chris. Chris, are you there? Sound off!" he said, nervously.

"I'm here, I'm here Donnie. What do you need me to do?" I could hear in his voice the reassurance of hearing my response. "We've been updated of the situation by Mission Control, and this is what I need you to do. With your orbital position, you may be able to adjust into a correct trajectory that will intersect near the ISS. Do you see any sort of debris nearby?" I looked. Nearly out of sight, I saw a large section of solar panel, moving at nearly the same rate as I, but looked as if it was stationary; as if suspended in time. "Yeah Donnie, there's a broken solar panel about two hundred meters ahead of me and closing." "Okay Chris, here's the plan. when you make contact with the panel, I need you to push off from it to correct your gravitational trajectory. Do you understand?" I replied in agreement. "Now, you should still be within the debris field of the shuttle. I need you to make contact with another piece of debris about 15 seconds ahead of your location, and push off from that so you don't fall into the atmosphere." I complied, and waited for the panel to reach closer to me. Funny...that panel was meant to supply energy to the Evac module of the ISS. Damn Irony.

The panel was within 15 feet of me now. Thank god my speed had decreased, or I'd be like a bug on a windshield. "Making contact now.", I updated Donnie. I pushed down with my feet against the panel, nearly tearing through the aluminum wrapped around it. But it had worked. Thank God. "Alright Chris, You've got about 20 seconds to find something in your general direction to deflect off of."

18 seconds. Nothing. It's alright Chris. Keep going, damn it.

12 seconds. Still nothing. I can feel my heart beat more rapidly now. It's almost too difficult to contain.

6 seconds. Christ Almighty....Save me.

Then I noticed something. Coming out from the shade of nearby debris, my heart sunk. Immediately in my direction was the body of Patricia Wells, our Flight Commander. Her helmet was punctured almost immediately after the event, and she immediately died from exposure to the vacuum of space.

Christ, I hope she did.

"Donnie, it's Patricia. I don't know if-" "THERE'S NO TIME, CHRIS. GO.", cutting me off. Immediately I reached her body, and pushed off her to stabilize my trajectory. The force of contact against her corpse pushed it into the direction of the Earth, where I knew it would burn up within the atmosphere. I'm so sorry Patricia, I thought to myself. Forgive me. She left behind a husband and three sons. God, no one should experience that.

"She would have done the same thing, Chris.", Donnie reassured me. "She wouldn't of held it against you." Trying to restrain myself from what had just happened, I responded. "She deserves full honors when this is all said and done. Nothing less." "And she will, Chris. But we need to get you there first." Silence filled the absence of air afterwards. I had nothing I could say. There are no words that can justify the loss of human life. After all, she was the godmother to my kids.

Afterwards, Donnie chimed in again. "Alright Chris, I need you to keep your course for the next 76 minutes. Until then, watch your oxygen levels. You need to hold out for as long as possible." I looked down at the 02 meter. 28 percent and decreasing. This whole time the HUD was warning me of the levels, and not once did I pay attention to it. Christ, it's a race against time now.

"Until then, communication should be kept to a minimum, we don't want you to waste any oxygen that you'll need." "I copy", I said.

It's okay. I was never much of a talker anyways.