The Joker and Me

Chapter Eighteen: Clown Out of Water

I awoke to an empty bed, upset that J hadn't said anything after last night. But, beofre I could even roll out of bed, J burst through the nedroom door, causing me to jump and cluth at my chest. He was smiling wide, and he was wearing something I never thought I would see him in.

"Swimming trunks?" I looked him up and down, stunned at what I was seeing. J had on flip flops, purple sunglasses, and bright green swimming trunks with clowns on them. I almost started laughing, but I knew this wasn't the right time.

"Well, princess, what else am I gonn wear to the beach? Goodmorning!" He came up and kissed me on the cheek before hugging me, causing me to smile wide. 

"The beach? You mean were going to a beach?" He let me go and look at me. He still had a wide smile on, but I looked at him puzzeled. "Where?"

"Oh, don't worry your little noggin about the details." He whipped me around and pushed me into the bathroom. "You'll see what daddy has picked out for you to wear!"

Hanging from the shower was a strappy one piece, with straps and metal all through-out. It was backless, and barely covered what it needed to. I pulled at it in every which was, but it didn't budge. I picked up the big sun hat and sunglasses sitting on the sink and slipped on the simple flip flops before walking out. 

J was sitting on the bed, waiting for me. "Oh baby," he moaned as he came over and squeezed my ass. I felt the same feeling I did last night when he touched me. "You look ravishing."

I giggled, and he hit me on the butt as if to say go. It seemed so normal to be flirting with a mad man.

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The car came to a quick hault, and J threw his hand out to catch me in the passanger seat. "We made it!" He yelled as he got out of the car. 

"Yah, barely." I whipered to myself as J came around and opened my door. He placed his hand out to help me stand and I took it. "Thank you, J"

He let go of my hand and wrapped it around shoulders, causing us both to look out over the beach. "Anything for my princess." 

The beach was small, and was definietly secluded. It would be almost impossible for anybody to know we were here. J had his goons set up two chairs and an umberella facing the water. Once set up, he motioned for me to sit down, and we both relaxed into our beach chairs and watched the waved roll.

"Do you like the beach, kitten?" J said after awhile as he took my hand and held it in his. I stared down at our intertwined fingers.

"Oh, yah J." 

"You hesitated." He let go of my hands and my eyes jumped up to his. He seemed slightly upset. 

"No no, it's just that," I paused, because his face began to contort as if no matter what I said he would get uoset. "It's just it's so hot. Why don't we go down to the water?"

That was the wrong answer apparently. J didn't say anything, but he turned away from me, not saying a word.

"J? We don't have to. We can stay-"

"I know we can stay here." I couldn't see his face, but I could tell he wasn't actually angry. He seemed more upset, as if he was afraid to let me see what he was actually feeling.

"J, what do you want to do." I reached out for him, and he softened under my touch. He turned back around, and his face told me he was scared. 

"I want to make you happy, Jack." I knew he was serious when he used his nickname for me. I knew now what he was trying to tell me.

"Are you afraid of the ocean, J?" 

He immediatly became red, and began rambling: "Of course I'm not afraid of the ocean whose afraid of the ocean I love the ocean I always-"

I began to laugh, and he stopped talking. "Why are you laughing?" His tone was more harsh, but I was too comfortable with him now to feel any fear that would stop me in my tracks. 

"Because there's nothing to be afraid of in the ocean."

His expression changed to shock. "Of course there is! Theres deadly animals, sea urchins, not to mention all the debris and-"

"J!" I cut him off, grabbing his hand again. His breathing calmed, and he looked at the ground.

"I can't swim."

"No way!" I yelled as I let go of his hand and stood up. "Everyone can swim!"

He stood up too, looking angrily down at my smile. "No, everyone CANNOT swim!"

We stood frozen, still staring at eachother. Then I took his hand, and began to walk towards the water, dragging his now frightened body behind me.

"Wait, what are you doing?" I could hear the fear in his voice. 

I looked back at him: "We're going swimming."

He instantly pulled against me, stopping me in my tracks. "No! No we are not!" He tried to pull me back to the chairs, but I let him go. He looked at me, defeated. "I can't swim, Jack."

"I'll hold your hand the whole time, and we don't have to go that far in."

He smiled, walking forward and grabbing my hand. "Promise?"

"Promise."

We slowly walked up to the water, stopping right before the crest of the water on the sand. I felt J tense up.

"Let the water rush over your feet." We took a few more steps forward, and a wave crashed over our feet and ankles. 

J let out what was almost like a happy scream. He smiled down at the water, and then back at me. "It's so cold!"

I laughed and nodded, enthralled by how much he was acting like a kid. I wondered if he even had a childhood. I imagined that conversation was for another day. 

"Can we go out more?" He looked at me and smiled wide, and I nodded again. We took small and slow steps out, stopping when the waves cam up to our knees and shins. ONce the waves began to hit our hips, however, J froze. 

"Let's go back." I looked at him with a confused look. "I just think this is as far out as I'm gonna go."

 I smiled at him. "Well, look at you! You made it all the way out here!" I reached out for his hips with my free hand, hugging him and placing my head against his shoulder. He let go of my hand and hugged me tight against him, but I couldn't tell if it was out of affection or fear. 

"Jack?"

"Yes J?"

"I love you."

The words seemed to just fall out of his mouth, and I stood frozen against him. The voice in my head instantly began to laugh hysterically, and kept shouting: 'I knew it! I KNEW IT!' I had no idea what to do next. Did I really love the joker? He was a madman, a murderer who killed with no mercy. And yet...

"I love you to J." He hugged me tighter, and for the first time in awhile I felt at home.