The Joker and Me

Chapter Nineteen - Dead over Heels

I was brushing my hair in the mirror when J walked into the bathroom. He waltzed around before settling behind me, his hands slowly reaching around my waist. He kissed the back of my neck, and I smiled wide at our reflection.

"Big day tomorrow, puddin!" He smiled wide at us in the mirror, but my smile faded.

"What's going on tomorrow?" I turned in his arms to face him. His face hadn't changed in the slightest, his hands still around my waist.

"Why, were going out again! But this time, it will be more grand!" He threw his arms up to exaggerate his point, but this only made me more nervous.

"Oh no, not another bank. Last time nearly killed me." I began to walk out of the bathroom towards the bed, but J grabbed my wrist, whipping me around. He still had a smile on his face, but it was fading.

"No, last time YOU nearly killed ole' bat! And this time, it's not a bank." He pulled me all the way into him. My head rested on his shoulder as he petted my hair. "We're taking city hall!"

I pushed away from him, starring up into his crazy eyes and almost beginning to cry. "City hall is full of guards! They'll kill us on the spot!" I turned again, this time getting out of the bathroom before J could get to me. He followed me into the bedroom, leaning againt the doorway while I paced. "Not to mention that I don't plan to ever fight again!"

J chuckled under his breath, looking down at the floor. "Oh, princess, daddy thinks you will."

I stopped pacing, and turned around to face him. "What? Why?" 

He sauntered over to me, grabbing both my shoulders and giving me a hard stare. "If you plan to ever get our of here you will."

"Maybe I-" I stopped myself, not knowing if what I was going to say was true. Freedom was an option? I hadn't even thought of it myself. J just said that I could one day get out, but the problem was that I didn't even know if I wanted to or not. "Maybe I'll just run away tomorrow."

"No, you won't." J pulled me into a harsh kiss, biting my lip hard in the process. I tried to yell out in pain, but he was too pressed againt me to move. He let me go, and I staggered backwards away from him. I tasted blood. "Because even if I did grant you freedom, you wouldn't leave." 

"Then why even give me the option." I wanted to turn away, but his stare was holding me. I was frozen.

"So you realize just how much you need me. I told you that you'd become so dedicated to survival that you'd fear being anything else besides mine. And that's exactly what's happened." He stomped towards me, and soon we were both against the wall. "You love me, sweetie."

"J, you love me too." His breath stopped, and his pupils shrank. "You said today you did."

"No I didn't" He turned from me scratching his head. My stomach dropped.

"J, yes you did. In the water. You said-" 

"NO I DIDN'T!" He screamed, turning and lunging for me. I ducked out of the way just in time for him to slam his fists against the wall. "You're-you just-you're imagining things."

I slowly walked over to him, and rubbed his back. "J, we both said we loved eachother today. Did you forget?"

"No, I remember now." He layed his whole body weight against the wall. "I just don't even know if I can." He turned to face me now. Tears had begun to well up in his eyes. I felt tears coming to my own.

"J..." I had nothing else to say. How could I? A complete bipolar lunatic was standing in front of me trying to understand what love was. I didn't know if I knew either, but I felt much closer to the idea of it than he was. 

He walked over to the bed, laying down and staring at the ceiling. I followed shortly after, laying my body against his and looking at the same place. We didn't say anything until our breathing was in tune.

"Jack, would you die for me?" I sat up and looked at him, confused by the question. He didn't budge; he just kept staring blankly up at the sky.

 I looked away before I spoke: "Well, I guess I wouldn't know till I was in the situation. I don't-" I looked down at him, and saw his innoncence. Behind the mastermind was a human being. He had flaws, fears, and wants. All of them were wrapped up in this one moment, and suddenly I had my answer: "Yes J, I would."

He quickly sat up, eyes bugging out of his head. "Really?" I nodded, smiling slightly. He looked away and nodded to himself, plunging deep into thought. After a moment, he looked back at me, smiling. "Would you live for me?" 

What exactly was the question? Was I not living for him now? I was breathing and in his bed; however, I knew the question was deeper than that.

"Yes, J. I would live everyday for you." J smiled, and leaned in to kiss me. I leaned in quicker, kissing him hard. We both smiled againt eachother, and I laughed as we oulled apart. 

"What princess?"

"J, is that what love is to you?"

"Yes, living for eachother." He smiled wider, and I could tell he wasn't afraid anymore. He rolled over away from me, turning off the lamp and plunging the room into darkness. I rolled away from him as well, the smile draining from my face.

The idea of what was in store for tomorrow filled my head again, and I felt extremely uneasy. Suddenly, the voice in my head was back and laughing. As I began to drift off, I heard it whisper to me:

'Tomorrow is the beginning of our ruin.'