Raising Anniyah.(WattyAwards2016-Ongoing)

Chapter Three.

Chapter Three.

I sat by my window peering out into the night; the sky was bare, decorated with only a few stars which were scattered about, they looked like tiny fireflies congregating over darkness off the sky. Airplanes flew high above the houses, the lights beneath the wings of the plane changing from yellow to blue. I longed to be on a plane. Any plane, going anywhere. I would sit on the seat of the plane comfortably; perhaps besides a woman, and we would talk for hours about how happy we were to be getting away from the norms of every day life. We would gossip the whole journey about how we couldn't wait to feel the warmth of the sun on our skin. Of course we would be going somewhere warm.. we'd be so excited, oh how we needed a break. A rest from the tedious routine of every day. Then when the plane prepared to land we would take a deep breath and sigh, extanging smiles with each other. I'd take her contact details, and she'd take mine. We'd promise to keep in contact with each other - we'd never get around to it though. I hungered for such friendly interaction, for an acquaintance if nothing at all.

My phone began to ring besides me, the vibrations against the wooden surface startling me from my thoughts. I looked down at the screen and sighed, reluctantly pressing the green button.

"Natalie?" it was the fifth time she had called me; every time we spoke, she asked the same questions. As though she expected my answers to change within the short duration of time between our last conversation.

"Hey. Vee, what are you doing tomorrow?" her voice sounded thick, as though she had been crying, or like she had not long woken up.

"Well, I've got work.. then I should be seeing Daryl.. why? What's up?" I was growing more, and more curious to know what was on her mind.

"Oh, I needed some help with something, but never mind. I'll ask Adam to help me out with it instead" I opened my mouth to speak, but she had already began a new sentence. "So, Adam says that you've been acting a bit weird lately. And you haven't been talking to me much.. what's up? You are alright, aren't you?" I knew she was going to ask. Her and Adam had developed a new kind of relationship recently, but I refused to question the nature of their friendship. Their friendship, because anything else would be extremely cringe. I took a deep breath in, and thought about my response. Natalie was my best friend, there was nothing we couldn't tell each other. No matter what it was. We had no secrets - ever.

"Seriously, Natt, it's nothing" I was lying again. A pain gripped my heart, I shouldn't have to lie to her. I knew she would be there for me, regardless. But I couldn't risk it. Not with her and Adam being so close.

"..." she was silent, before continuing - "you can tell me. Just don't lie Vee.. there's no need" she sounded like the good angle that sits on your right shoulder, like in the cartoons. I tried to listen to hear if I could hear the voice on the left. I listened for a few moments, and it was there.

' She's only going to tell you to keep it. But you can't, can you? What would your dad say? Better yet what would he do?' I knew my father would be disappointed. He would have no remorse for me or the situation, he would beat me, and feel no pitty when he was done. My father believed that discipline was only affective when physical contact was administered too. But eventually, he would have to accept it and move on.

'what about your mum though? How heartbroken would she be? And what about Daryl? Your evil. You'll never be able to raise that child the way it needs to be raised' the voice on the left was stronger than Natalies could ever be.I sighed deeply.

"Listen. Natt, it's nothing.." I thought about my response for a moment before continuing, "Well.. it's something, but I'd feel better to talk about it with you in person.. maybe next time I see you, but for now.. let's leave it yeah?" I figured telling her couldn't sway my decision in the slightest, I knew what had to be done, and it was the greatest good, for the greatest number. I could never raise a child, not properly, not at this age. My dad would never understand and my mum would probably fall sick with stress. Daryl.. Daryl wasn't ready for such a responsibility.