Restart

Regrets

The bell rang at exactly 3:00 pm.

I can still remember the memory vividly.

I waited a bit for the others to leave so that I could have a private chat with him.

Tony Teliah was his name.

I could spell it out any day.

T-O-N-Y 

T-E-L-I-A-H

Oh, until now I still regret it....

_

Silence filled the room.

We were finally alone.

He didn't notice me as he was too busy gathering up all his belongings.

I approached him nervously and cracked up a tiny whisper,

"Hey Antony"

He didn't hear.

"Erm...Antony?...."

He turned to look he looked at me with a face that said 'Yes?'.

"Uhm...I really don't know how to say this...."

He looked somewhat confused.

My palms were sweating and I was fidgeting with my hands.

"I like you"

I finally managed to build up enough confidence to say it.

Regret filled me from head to toe and I was as red as a plum.

He was dumbfounded.

I just faked a smile and ran away laughing at myself, unbeknownst to me that that specific action will leave me a heavy feeling in my heart in the near future.

The only thing I heard from him was a loud "Whaaaaaaaatttt" as I ran down the stairs.

That was my last day at school.............

_

I left to go back to my hometown as my father's job changed again and we were forced to move back.

Until now I still don't really know if he ever did like me back.....

Does he still know me?

Does he still like me?

Or does he even know I still exist?

These questions all fill my mind every night and until know, I still cannot forget the moments I had with him, and unfortunately, the regrets as well.

His smile filled with warmth, making him look like a chipmunk, which made him quite cute, and that attracted me quite a lot.

His eyes filled with a gleam of happiness, which I can never help but stare at.

His kind words which never spoke of any cruelty.

His humor, oh boy was he funny! His side comments were quite stupid, but in a funny way. They never failed to crack me up.

Fast forward to 14 years present time

I still ask myself at night.

Is he still alive and well?

Is he happy with someone else?

Does he still know I exist?

And therefore, since nobody has ever filled that gap in my heart.

My first love still stays in my heart.

Even though he's thousands of miles away from me, and we have no means of communication.

I still hope that faith could bring us together......

-Jem