After everything that had happened, I was still a huge fan of Fredrick 'Jared' Gillian. Maybe not as crazy as before, but I still liked his movies and those few songs he wrote when he had inspiration. He was a regular famous guy; blonde hair, green eyes, a tall and bulky frame. And he was talented. What else do you want in a person to fangirl over them?
When I was thirteen, I watched 'Mares of the Creek'. I must admit, it was a pretty boring movie and I hated every moment watching it. Maybe not every moment. At the end of the movie, I saw an actor. He probably had a very small role, but trust me, it was like I'd finally found the purpose of my life.
So, as an absolutely normal human being would do, I googled him and I found out his name. And everything about him that was on the internet. A week later, I was obsessed with this person. I almost fainted when I realized he sang so well too. I was so obsessed with him, to the point that I couldn't say two sentences without mentioning him. It drove everyone around me crazy, but that wasn't reason enough to control myself.
The reason did come. It came and changed the path I was heading to. Sometimes I'm glad it happened, but I also wonder where I would be if it didn't.
I wasn't reminded of that day, until this fateful (or unfateful, whatever you might want to call it) morning, while I was doing my shift at a café.
"Samantha Sparks," my manager yelled from the seating area, "get to that table before I fire you."
A stack of milk cartons fell on my head, as I tried to arrange them in the dark and stuffy pantry. As I approached my manager, he pointed at a secluded table at the corner of the café. I wiped my sweaty forehead with my sleeve as I pulled a notepad from my apron.
"Hi, welcome to our café! What may I do for you?" I said in the sweetest voice possible without even looking at the customer. When I did look, my heart skipped a beat, because right in front of me was the gorgeous Fredrick Gillian. In my memory, I remember his sparkling skin as his face radiated an angelic glow. I was filled with joy and excitement. The usual reaction when you see someone you are a fan of. But it didn't last very long. My heart then filled with terror and anxiety and soon I began to shiver with fear. I saw my life flash before my eyes. I say life because Fredrick is my life (or was, until the incident that revolved around him took place.)
<<<<()>>>>
Two years after I had discovered Fredrick, I figured out there wasn't any dedicated fanpage about him. So I created a blog all about him and invited everyone I knew to join it. It took only 6 months for my fanpage to gain huge momentum. At that point of time, Samantha Sparks had become synonymous with the Fredrick Gillian Fandom. Other celebrities even followed me and I was glad I was finally doing something productive.
At some point, after I'd become popular, an idea struck my mind. I was struggling for new content on my blog, so I entered the gore world of gossip. I spiced some of his stories and started to make up things. You could say that the popularity had gotten to my head and I craved for validity from my followers. I spread rumours and I felt bad. At first, I was gaining attention but soon everything went downhill. I got a hate comment, and I had realized that people were beginning to notice all of these fabrications. It had struck a chord when people questioned my dedication to Fredrick and soon it had driven me mad.
I replied to them, every one of those haters, even though I didn't feel good. Until one day, my dad knocked on my door, saying someone was on the phone for me.
"Hello," I squeaked.
"Hi Samantha, this is Mary, Fredrick's manager,"
I didn't answer.
"I was just wondering if we could talk," she paused, "personally."
"Any reason why," I asked even though I knew and dreaded the answer.
"It's just something about your blog."
Three days later, I was in Mary's office with my dad. After we'd sat down and exchanged pleasantries, Fredrick came in. All tall and handsome, smiling at me as if he knew nothing of what I'd done.
"Fredrick, this is Samantha," Mary introduced me, "a very big fan of yours."
"I know, I've heard a lot about you," he said looking at me while I melted into a pool of drool.
"Samantha, I appreciate your dedication to Fredrick, but you may have gone a little over the top," Mary began.
I stared at Fredrick.
"Your blog has caused Fredrick to become a little infamous due to your unnecessary and very misleading rumours. We want you to shut down your blog. Now."
I finally looked at her, "but what about all the effort that I put into it?" I cried.
"You should have thought of the consequences before you chose this path. Now that you've done it, you have to live with it. Shut it down now and we won't take it to the authorities."
<<<<()>>>>
"A cappuccino, no sugar please and any kind of vegetarian sandwich you have," Fredrick ordered from his menu. Then he looked at my name badge, "if you do it fast enough, I might give you good tip. Samantha" he flashed a smile at me.
"Sure," I smiled nervously.
When I turned around he called me. "Samantha, you say? Wait. Are you Samantha Sparks by any chance?"
"Samantha Sparks?" I looked at him, puzzled, "Never heard of that name before that?"
"Then your badge?" he looked at me questioningly.
"Oh, I might have exchanged it with my colleague again. My bad."
XxxxX
In this short story, I've tried to express a paradox. (I think you can call it a paradox). We are more familiar with celebrities hiding or covering their identity, but in this case, Samantha felt that it was better to lie about herself than to face the embarrassment. When we meet someone whose work we are fond of, we tend to impress them and it doesn't matter if we are being ourselves or not. Here, the only way to impress (or so I shall say) Fredrick for Samantha was to hide her identity.
