G U S H

It was the Company's Anniversary celebration. There were people all around. The live band's music stimulated the crowd to fill the dance floor.

She felt her hands getting cold, shiver slowly crept on her body.

There went his lingering stares again. Just like before, just like when they lingered on her, on her quivering nakedness.

She lowered her gaze. She must avoid his eyes. Then she completely turned her back on him, exactly doing what her virtuous brain was telling her to.

And that kept his distance.

And she felt ease.

The party went on, and they went on trying to elude each other. Everything seemed to be considerate, except for the music – the song, his song for her.

I have this feeling inside me that I always try to hide

This feeling has never ended, it will never subside

I realized that it would only cause me pain

So I tried to forget about it but this feeling always remains.

And like the melody that smoothly filled the air, their eyes searched around, and automatically found each other. And for one brief moment, there was no doubt their thoughts met, memories came rushing back, memories of their intimate moments together – so full of love, of feelings so sincere, so intense – and so wrong.

Mike is an architect, she the corporate planning officer. He was so carefree, she was so staid. He, boyishly charming, she, a dashing nerd. He was so experienced, she was so naïve. He is a bachelor, she is a wife.

The construction of their new branch building, that made it all happen. There they met, there they jointly worked for weeks. Mike was warm and very likeable. He made her feel very special. And that every day of being together, a wicked magical force drew them closer and closer to each other.

Tell me will I ever survive

Stop this feeling I feel inside

Holding back myself from being close to you

They both knew there was a developing feeling between them, but they ignored it thinking it soon shall pass, and that was their mistake.

There were no words, actually. They just both understand.

They knew it when they caught their quiet stolen stares while in separate crowds. When each other's nearness held them both breathless. When they allowed themselves to watch, side by side, the sun slowly disappearing in the horizons. They knew it when such fading afternoon light brings them the feeling of a very romantic evening. When the stillness brought by the warm evening breeze made them hear their own heartbeats, the voices within that kept them speechless. They need not say it, it was there. And they conceded to what they felt.

She was rattling her brain for a brilliant alibi when she heard his voice asking her to dance, but suddenly she became dumb.

"How are you?", he asked while they danced, his gaze ardently piercing through her soul.

"O-okay", she fumbled. Great, all of a sudden her profound vocabulary's pressuring her for words.

She was beginning to get more nervous, her knees turning into jelly.

Here I am all alone so I stand to my confusion

Not knowing how to help myself arrive at a decision

I can't get you out of my mind, 'don't know what to do

This feeling that's ever growing, this feeling I feel for you

"When are you leaving?", at last she found her voice.

"The day after tomorrow", he replied, sadness was on his face. He took a deep breath, "I'm doing this for you". She heard his throat constricted.

"I know", she trembled, her eyes suddenly moistened with tears.

"Claire, you've decided this", his tone insinuated her to recant, it was in fact pleading her to.

"Oh, God", she sighed, attempting to control the overwhelming emotions she was feeling. She had to be firm. And they stayed there silently, trying to hold each other close.

She dizzily drove herself home.

Entering their room, she saw her husband lying asleep. She silently went to wash and change.

Ariel turned when he heard the bed squeak as she sat on it. He smiled at her, feeling of contentment dawned on his face seeing her home.

"How was the party, dear?", he lovingly asked.

"Good", she leaned closer and kissed him tenderly. And her eyes fondly set on his face. After nine years of marriage, Ariel still bore that charm. Though there were a number of tiny wrinkles on his forehead and a few pounds on his belly, he is still the same attractive man she married. He'd been tall and strong, if not for that accident which costed him his legs five years ago.

"I'm sorry honey, I wasn't able to go with you and show everybody my dancing prowess", there went his funny Ariel again. "You see, your husband's a very busy man", he made his usual comic face. "And those gorgeous ladies in the next room kept on pulling my sleeves not to leave them", he winked.

She giggled, those were his sexy cartoon characters. Drawing kept him occupied, earning, and going.

"Better you'd stayed home, hon", she replied, "a ladies' man like you would have brought out the insecurity in me again".

"For sure!", he grinned.

As she joined him in bed, a feeling of relief enveloped her. She curled up comfortably in her husband's arms and closed her eyes. Mike loved her so much, he let her go. And Ariel loved her more, he held on and let her stay.

- o O o -