Am I Pretty Enough Yet?

I look in the mirror. From the front and the side. I pull the measure tighter. 41" my waist, twice of my thigh.

No diets can ever even slightly effect my shape. No exercise can ever make me loose any of this weight.

Is this my only option? Living in shame. I wouldn't mind a little of pudge. But this is just plain insane.

How did I do this? Is this how my body is supposed to be? Eating a little doesn't make it go away.

Maybe, just maybe, I wont eat for a few days. Lets just try this week and see how it goes. 5 days tops, and I'll measure.

Its just a little bit, half an inch is now gone. Maybe I could do it this way. Get rid of some of me. Just a little bit, not much.

Its been 2 weeks sense I first tried this. I've lost a lot now. About 5" at least. But it doesn't seem to make a difference.

I'm so hungry. This is so hard. But I can do it a little longer. It should get easier after awhile. Maybe just a little snack.

No it wont work that way. Some crackers. That should do. I can't eat fattening things. If I do this would be a waste.

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Its been three months now. I've lost a lot of weight. I can wear a bikini now. And not be embarrassed on a date.

Am I pretty enough for you? Mister guy with all the looks. Or you girls who walk with your  heads high.

I guess I'm still not good enough. Not pretty enough for you. But now you always look at me. You laugh and talk about me.

Not just you but everyone. Is this how I'm supposed to be? Alone and as a fool? I'm treated like I'm nothing more than dirt under your shoe.

I'm done trying to impress you. Hurting myself for you. I'm hungry and I'm weak now. But just can't swallow anything.

Its almost been 5 months now. And crackers don't suffice. But I'm to where I cannot move now. I'm alone and by myself.

I guess that its all over. While I lay here in my bed. If someone comes to find me, I will have already been dead.

Well I guess thats what I get, for trying to impress. So for that person who comes to find, do for me just one thing. And tell me, just this once. Am I pretty enough yet?