For the First Time- A Harry Styles Fanfiction

Chapter 7 (Part 40)

(Tess' POV)

I ignored the buzzing of my phone all the way home. I continued to ignore them as I laid on the rug in front of my fire place, thinking about my outburst. I couldn't decide why it had happened. Oh, who am I kidding, of course I knew why it happened. I couldn't stand the way Harry had looked at Tisdale. I couldn't stand the thought of them ever being... happy together. One part of me felt really horrible about it, but the other half was too pissed off to care.

I chewed at the inside of my cheek, thinking about how childish I was being. I knew that Tisdale doesn't mean anything to Harry. He's told me over and over again. But, she's carrying his child. I can't help but think that that may suede someone to make a real relationship work. And, if that's Harry's mindset, where does that leave me? To hurt from behind closed doors. To pretend like I'm happy for them and their pretty little family. To pretend like seeing them together doesn't kill me a little on the inside.

Maybe I'll babysit for them sometime.

I got up to go to the kitchen and make some coffee for myself. As I turned on the brewer, there was a loud, fast knock at the door.

I rolled my eyes and grabbed an apple from the fruit dish that sat on the wood topped island in the center of my kitchen. I took a large bite from it and stood in front of the door. I walked to it and rested my back upon it, swallowing my apple.

"I don't want to talk about it, Harry. It's whatever." I called through the door.

"Not Harry. He's in the car with Liam and Zayn." Niall's voice called back. I pondered the idea of simply walking away and pretending like they weren't there. I really didn't want to deal with the humiliation of why I ran full speed out of the building like a scared child.

"C'mon, Tess, open the door." Louis pushed. I let out a long sigh and undid the latch. I pulled the heavy door open as I turned to walk down into the living room, taking another loud bite of my fruit. I heard the door close shut followed by heavy footsteps. I laid back down onto the rug, hidden from them by the coffee table.

For a long while, there was no sound other than the crunching of my apple and the cracks and pops of the fireplace. "So, what's up?" Niall finally asked, forcing me to sit up to face them.

"Gas prices?" I said, filling my mouth with apple again. The two of them rolled their eyes in unison at my answer.

"You know what we're talking about. Are you okay?" Louis asked.

"Of course she's not okay, you idiot." Niall answered him. "How would you feel if-" and then I lost it. All at once, I interrupted his sentence by throwing the remains of my apple into the flame and collapsing on the floor in sobs. Now I felt like even more of a child.

Suddenly, there was a hand on my back. "I'm sorry Tess, I-"

"No, Ni. I'm fine." I sat up, quickly composing myself and swallowing my strange burst of emotion.

"You sure? You kind of just, had an emotional breakdown." Louis said awkwardly from the couch.

"That's beside the fact. There's nothing wrong. I'm very happy for Harry and Tisdale and their wedlock baby." I crossed my arms over my chest.

Niall reached over and wiped the runny mascara from under my eye, "That's the biggest load of bullshit I've ever heard." He chuckled.

"We all know you love Haz. You could cut the sexual tension between you two with a knife. It's ridiculous. I think the only one who doesn't know it is you." Louis finished.

And then it clicked.

Like a light switch turning on. Or like an electric shock restarting someone's heart.