Sticks and Stones

Chapter 2

Have you ever wanted to die? I thought about it often in the following months, scenarios running through my head of how I would end this. But I couldn't seem to work up the courage. After all, I was just a scared little bitch anyway. Anytime I was near a knife, or scissors I felt the inexplicable pull. Pulling me in, chewing me up, and spitting me back out crying and bloody. My days blended together into one big blur of darkness and despair.This continued until one day my excuses didn't make the cut.

I was sitting at the youth group meeting that my parents forced me to go to and my friend Skylar was sitting next to me. She was a little suspicious because she had known me long enough to know that something was up. She started asking me questions about my long sleeves and I squirmed in my seat uncomfortably. She wasn't satisfied with my mumbled excuses and commanded me to roll up my sleeves and show her my arms. I tried to change the subject but she was persistent in her commands and eventually I had no choice but to comply. The audible gasp that followed along with the look of horror on her face said it all. I had to admit my bloody, scarred arms looked bad even to me, and I was used to it."Meredith", she said,"What are you doing to yourself?". I made her promise not to tell anyone but the look on her face didn't make me too sure about whether or not she would keep my secret.