Castle Clash Book of One Shots and More!

One Shot #3: Hill Giant and Frost Witch (Ft. Alchemist)

[Luigi: Hill Giant]
Frost Witch, won't you listen to my speech?
I don't have any Heart shaped rocks...
But If I had one I would give it to you,
I'm your Hill Giant

[Mario: Alchemist:]
What up, bitch?! I got a revive bitch!
What's inside that Mesa Chest? It's my dick!
It's-a-me a-Alchemist I'm more Smarter than Stephen Hawking!
I'll take you by your peaches and give you the hot vial!
I saved you from griffins and evil Heroes that are spooky
Must I be a higher rank to get inside your Gas detector?
I will mount you like Lady Leo's tiger and show you things you've never seen
My micro pipet now mega if you know what I mean
So suck it!

[Luigi:]
Alchemist, you always do this shit
I like a girl and you ruin it
By yelling stuff about your dick
Until they go away

[Peach: Frost Witch]
Hey, Hill Giant, it's okay
That Alchemist's a bit risqué
Just tell me what you need to say
Please don't be afraid!

[Luigi:]
Oh, Frost!
It means so much for me to hear you say that.
The only thing I've ever wanted to tell you is that- GOD DAMN IT

[Mario:]
I'm here to pleasure that ass!
I'd like to go first, Frost, but I always come last
And you say we'll get together but I'm jackin' off alone
Shotgun dwarves skeletons aren't the only Shotguns around!
I am tired of your sticky situations it's such a fuckin' hassle
I go through shit and then you're in another fuckin' place
You gotta think about it? Well I don't believe the hype
You'll have a lot of time to think when you are smokin' on my faraday cup!

[Peach:]
Oh Em Gee!
I can't decide on which of you should be the guy
To take me on a exciting  ride that'll redefine my life

[Luigi + Peach:]
I'm ready to give love a shot
It's not about how many gold you got
I just know I like you a lot

[Mario:]
Yo sluts! Check out my hero base!

[Luigi:]
Ugh!

[Luigi:]
Let me take you on a magic windstorm ride
[Mario:]
I'll bust your tornado when I smack your backside
[Luigi:]
We'll have some fun, I'll bring my friends along
[Mario:]
I'll kick that Engineer right in his bolts!

[Mario:]
Come on, Frost! It's time to make your choice!
I'm the only hero that can make your boobies rejoice
Stone grey lanky-ass hero ain't got shit on me
It's time to live out our story of the Princess and the pea (nis!)

[Mario:]
So! Who's it gonna be, Frost Witch?

[Peach:]
I choose... Spirit Mage!

[Mario + Luigi:]
SPIRIT MAGE?!

[Peach:]
Well his whole body's shaped like a dick.

[Mario:]
Ohhhh, mhm, yeah, definitely.
[Luigi:]
Oh, yeah, okay, his body look like a dick, yeah-huh.