FATED | camren

13

Lauren experiences her first pride the summer they spend in San Francisco. They see the flyers plastered everywhere one day and while Lauren is hesitant, Camila is insistent.

"It'll be good for you, Lauren, come on, just try it. I'll be there with you."

Lauren relents, because she can't deny the curiosity.

Camila tries to rob her into buying some fun, colorful clothes for the pride event, but on that point, Lauren is relentless. She settles on a black bralette crop top and white jeans, much to Camila's disappointment, she on the contrary goes all out; with her rainbow socks, screeching pink skater dress and 'love always wins' top and of course, a pair of fairy wings she found at a flea market.

Lauren thinks she looks way gayer than she, the actual lesbian, does.

She does however let Camila paint a rainbow on her cheek, just so she'll stop pouting so much.

Her first pride is everything she expects and more; a burst of color, rainbows everywhere, glitter—so much glitter Lauren keeps finding it in her hair days later—people decked out in all kinds of wild customs, Lauren feels super underdressed. But the most important part of it all, is the sense of community, the sense of belonging, feeling welcome and normal and loved by thousands of strangers who can understand the struggle you went through because they've experienced it as well.

Lauren doesn't cry easily, but as gay drag queen holds an inspiring speech of love and acceptance, she feels the tears silently slide down her cheeks.

"Aw, baby," Camila says and wraps her arms around her tightly, "You're amazing and I love you."

Lauren sniffs and smiles, happiness expanding her heart, "Thank you for being you, Camz. I don't know what I'd do without you. I love you."

And she really does love Camila more than she loves life as she watches her in her colorful outfit and her butterfly wings, waving the flag, fingers curled tight into Lauren's.

++++

Lauren doesn't cry easily but some things are too hard to bear.

Like the sound of the love of your life being intimate in the next room with a guy that doesn't deserve her.

As soon as she hears the soft moans and whispers through the paper-thin walls, she scrambles for her ipod and plugs it into her ears, turning up the volume to drown the sounds out.

But even though she can't hear them, it still doesn't change the fact of what is happening in the next room. She can't quite get the image of Camila underneath someone else, small and vulnerable, giving her heart and soul to someone who's going to crush it mercilessly.

She cries into her pillow that night.

She wakes the next morning from a restless sleep and drags her battered body to the kitchen where she sleepily begins to brew some coffee.

She stares emptily at the fancy coffee machine—a gift from Camila's dad—when she hears soft footsteps enter the kitchen.

She looks up, fully expecting Camila but she gets Dylan instead.

And like, Lauren can see what she sees in him, he's good looking, even this early in the morning, with tuffs of black hair falling over sleepy, golden eyes, stubbles lining a jaw that looks like it could slice flesh. He's shirtless, a nicely toned chest that looks more like genetic blessing than the result of workout. He's got sick tattoos along his collarbone and down his arms.