Self-discovery through Magic {On Hold}

5. knowledge

I stomp all the way home, with a gold digging headache. As I walk to my house I stop and let the disappointment sink in. This house used to be the light of the neighborhood; the previous owner took really good care of it. Now we come in and turn it into the highway to hell. I walk up the driveway; I walk up the driveway that use to be white but now it's covered in black spot and God knows what else. I continue to walk, in the corner of my house, along the path to reach the door there are garbage bags. The sight alone is enough to make someone gag. The trash bags are open and trash are scattered around flies and insect flying around the area, and the smell is terrifying. As I'm about to continue walking two rats jumps out of the bag that's ripped open. The rat scared me enough to get goosebumps but not enough to make scream; rats and the animals of the dark are like friends to me. Finally, I reach the front door. The door is covered in what looks like mud, I don't even know how it's possible. The hinges and the door knob are rusty. Let's just say the sight of the door only is enough to have somebody running and screaming for their lives in terror. Sadly, it only gets worse once you get inside. What can I do? This is my life after all.

I open the door to find my dad with a half-empty bottle of vodka in his hands. His mumbling things to himself while staring at a bunch of scattered white pills. Tears are streaming down his face and snot running into his mouth. I walk closer to him to take the bottle of whiskey away from him, so I won't have to clean a mess later on. But, when I get close to him he hurriedly jumps back away from me like I was some type of disease. I get closer to him again, and he does the same thing again, except this time he keeps on saying,

"No I won't do it, no I won't do it" over and over again.

I was about to test going near him again, but his near the edge of falling off the couch; meaning whiskey would be everywhere that I don't want to clean up. So I just left, and let him be in his own little world.

My mother's in the kitchen crushing something underneath a cup. The place smells heavily of medicine. I ignore her and just walk straight to my room. I get into my room and slam my door shut, with boiling fury rising to my chest. I drop my backpack on the nearby chair and start to peel off my clothing. I start changing into dark blue jeans and a white t-shirt that has a broken cracked heart being pierced by an arrow on it, and underneath the picture say

one day love will find your way, but to make a beautiful strong steady rainbow there have to be rain, and maybe thunder and lightning, and rain never stays

- jevhanny Dessalines

 I put my black boots on. Usually, after school, I would wear my black Jamie's with a red rose in front of it. But, it's like I'm being driven by something, like some type of force. I plop down on my bed with my back against the wall and close my eyes.

 After a while, a flash goes off behind my eyelids, and this time I was expecting it. But,  I didn't see anything, I move my eyes around underneath my eyelids, but still nothing comes up. Out of nowhere, I'm pushed off against the wall. I let out a gasp and turn to see what might have done that, but only see the wall. Then, I hear whispers telling me to go in a very goosebump-causing voice.

I sit at the edge of my bed, crazily looking around with thoughts pulsing throughout my mind. Then, I feel another push and I was off the bed and on the ground. I quickly get up from the ground, and stand up in a defensive position, I look around for a black jacket, but nothing. I feel a shiver went down my spine. Then I heard the whispers again go. I couldn't help it anymore and yell

"What are talking about? Where am I going? Where am I supposed to go?"

The whisper answers or mumbles,