Headsh0t

C0nfusi0n

C0nfusi0n

"Will you leave Pandora?"

He saw her, but he didn't greet her like he used to. The mission had been so clear in his head when he had talked to Zed about it, but as soon as he heard her voice it was forgotten.

"Not now", he answered quickly, staring straight back in the grey eyes of the siren, standing in front of him now. "I was going to get some Rakk wings for Zed and-"

"I wasn't talking about now ", she interrupted him.

He blinked and stared at her a little longer. Was she nervous, or was he just imagining things? What was it that made her feel so insecure?

„Then... What exactly did you mean?"

Silence. Maya looked a little flustered and lowered her head. Something was wrong and Zero felt the uncommon urge to find out what it was.

"When Jack is dead and we've opened the vault", she suddenly said. „Will you leave Pandora?"

It was the first time she looked at him and for some reason he felt guilty. Why did she sound so... Afraid? And why did it feel like it was his fault that she seemed so lost?

„Why do you think that?", he asked calmly.

„You never told me why you came here in the first place. The only thing you talked about was 'looking for challenges' or things of that nature... But I never heard an honest reason from you", she explained again looking at the floor.

Actually she was right about that. Zero never felt the need to explain anything. Although they were much closer now after all these months of fighting together, he never had the impression that she really cared about his reasons. He was an assassin – a mysterious killer without a sense for things like friends or family. She was the first person in his life he would call a friend. And it was still new to him to think of Sanctuary as a home.

„I was serious about that", he immediately replied.

„Yeah I know but-", she went silent. „Nevermind."

She didn't leave. It seemed like she was waiting for some kind of reaction from him. But he didn't know what she expected so he just stood there staring at her in confusion. After some painfully awkward moments Maya looked back at him blushed and turned around.

They had never talked about it. It had happened, but he never mentioned it again. She thought she was the only person who knew what was behind his mask - but maybe it wasn't as special as it seemed. He had always acted so distant like he didn't need to be close to anyone. Why would she be special to him?

Zero stood still. He didn't move a muscle. He just stared at her. She could almost feel his eyes behind his helmet, looking back at her questioningly.

„It's about my...", he paused. „injury."

Maya didn't answer. She still didn't have any idea what he was. Maybe he wasn't even able to feel anything for her. Whether it be friendship or sympathy, or anything else. Perhaps he only followed rules he learned years ago when he was younger. It still didn't make any sense. All she remembered that it had felt warm. Confusing maybe, but not bad. She liked it and she had been sure that he felt it too-the affection and trust, and the desire for more. Days and weeks had passed since that moment and sometimes she wasn't even sure if it had happened. Maybe it was just a dream - yeah, a very weird and puzzling one, but a dream. A stupid wish she had deep inside of her.

„I'm not here for a connection."

So that was what he called it.

„I'm still yearning for new challenges. When Jack is defeated and the vault open, I will look for new dangerous tasks", he explained.

This was at least what he used to do. He still had a goal – killing Handsome Jack and finding the vault – but when this was over he would leave Pandora without hesitation, even though Sanctuary and the other vault hunters had become strangely dear to him. He would remember them fondly.

Maya kept looking at the ground. During all the time they'd fought together she had always been sure to know what was between them. They were companions, friends and sometimes even family. She didn't expect it to hurt like that, his rejection. But was it that? A rejection? Did she really want anything other than friendship?

It felt hot, stinging and uncomfortable. She felt like running, fleeing from this embarrassing moment. It didn't matter how hard she tried her legs didn't move. He didn't care about her the way she cared about him. He had just confirmed that.

„So...that's it", was all that she could say.

Zero noticed that her hands were shaking. He wanted to go to finish his quest but her pitiful state held him back. Maya looked so helpless, lost. He felt like he had to do something. He thought being honest with her would be best but he felt that that wasn't what he wanted. He wanted to take her hands, to tell her- that he wouldn't leave her like that – the siren was important to him and he would never leave without being sure- that she was safe.

They had kissed. And it hadn't been a small thank-you-for-healing-me-kiss. They really did make out and never talked about it. As soon as she was sleeping he left. And days passed before they met again. Axton and Salvador were with her, so he couldn't really talk to her about it and to be honest, he didn't really want to. He wouldn't have known what to say to her, other than that he liked being so close to her. She never mentioned anything either, so he tried not to care about it anymore. But now it looked like she cared. Very much so.

„Maya", he began.

She shook her head and smiled.

„It's all right. I just wanted to... Get a confirmation"

It was a lie.

She had never lied to him before.

„You don't look good."

Frightened. She was silent again and looked back at him in horror.

„What? I-I'm fine", she quickly replied, glancing at him like he was the one lying.

„You're not. And it is because of me"

„What the hell are you thinking? I just wanted to be sure about this... this thing, because I don't want to hold you back or something I-", she stopped when he stepped closer to her. „...what?"

Her pulse quickened, and she felt the heat in her cheeks. What was this stupid game he was playing?

„You'd be the only thing keeping me here", he whispered, slowly taking her hand, stroking her fingers.

Maya didn't know what to say. There was a brief moment of silence as both of them looked each other in the eyes.

„Hey guys! Guess what I found just a few hours ago? Right, this pretty lady 'ere."

The siren quickly took some steps back, getting a little distance between the two of them, when Axton entered the room. He obviously expected some cheering, when he presented them with his newfound shotgun.

„Nice", was all Zer0 said as he turned around and went to the door.

„Nice? Seriously? Is that all I get from you? Jesus, Zero! This thing is absolutely amazing!", the commando exclaimed, utterly confused about the assassin's neutral reaction. „Maya, come on, you can't tell me you're not impressed." He turned to her giving her a better look at his new favorite weapon.

„Wow...that's a really nice gun, Axton", she replied, taking a last look at her assassin leaving the room. He returned her gaze with a bright glowing heart on his mask.

He knew just how to confuse a siren.