Paring: Dan/Phil
Warning: Major character death/Mentions of suicide
Synopsis: Phil talks about Dan’s life through his eyes
Authors note: This is some stupid thing I thought up. I’m not really sure if this would be considered Phan but it does have the two boys in it. Let me know what you think about it. Fic is under the cut. Enjoy.
When I met you, you were only eighteen and just starting college. You were scared but hopeful for what the world would offer you. You were studying law at uni even though you wanted to be an actor but you would never pursue either career nor get the chance to. You started doing YouTube at that time and even though it was more of a side thing than a full time job I supported you every step of the way. You were eighteen. You had friends. You were excited
When we met again you were twenty and taking a break from uni. That was the year of your midlife crisis. You were trying to figure out what you wanted to do with your life. You started to question studying law. You stayed at my flat which I didn’t mind at all, I thought it was too big for one person anyway. You were still doing YouTube but a bit more seriously now but while you were gaining followers you were losing friends. You said they thought you were going into a shell. You weren’t the fun and outgoing Dan they knew two years ago, so they left you. I held you that night as you cried into my shoulder, asking me if there was something wrong with you. I shook my head and kissed your cheek and assured you nothing was wrong with you. You were twenty. You had lost people. You were scared.
When we met again you were twenty-two. We didn’t meet though as you were living with me then. You dropped uni and was now doing YouTube full time and BBC. You had lost all your friends from university but that was fine because you had me and through me met new friends. Or so I thought. You had another crisis that year, one I wouldn’t know about till later on. You were battling with yourself but it didn’t show. You seemed to be doing better than you were two years ago. You went out and had fun so I didn’t even think about asking if you were okay. I wish you told me that you weren’t okay but you had told someone else, someone you thought would take care of you. You told paper and razors and bullets. They became your friends at a time you thought you had none. You were twenty-two. You had no one. You were gone
