A Fabricated Personality

I don't know how it happened and I don't know why. 

One minute I'm a wasted space of nothing, floating in air with not so much as a consciousness, and the next, i'm born into the world with a working brain and ten fingers. 

It's weird to suddenly exist when all you were doing before was dispersing among oxygen atoms. It was almost like turning on a television where there's nothing but blackness until you push that button and then a tiny world is opened right before your eyes. That's how it felt to me, at least. A simple push of some universal button and poof! I existed.

To have a mind and be aware that you are actually something more than just air is riveting and frightening all at the same time. And to feel cold steel beneath you isn't comforting either.

Cold was something I hadn't experienced before, yet I had. It was all very complicated in the vast network of nerve-endings inside my head. I could remember things such as 'cold' and 'steel' but how? I hadn't existed just a few moments ago, so how could I have already built up memories and the ability to identify sensations such as these?

I slowly slid my trembling fingers along the frigid metal, trying to make sense of it all. Lights hovered above me like miniature suns, but they weren't warm and they certainly weren't in the least bit beautiful. In fact, they were frightening, along with the coolness on my fingertips. I shouldn't be feeling. I don't know how I knew, but I did.

I wasn't meant to be alive.

The fabric sliding across my skin wasn't real, along with the feeling of comfort it brought. The lights weren't real, the steel wasn't real, my heart thudding furiously in my chest certainty wasn't real. Yet here these things stayed, mocking me with their solid outlines and humming noises like bees bouncing around inside my skull.

Bees weren't real either.

I wanted to curl into myself, to return to my lifestyle of absolute nothingness and non-existent thoughts. Consciousness was not something I enjoyed, nor wanted to continue.

But the ice on my fingers stayed and the lights above stayed hovering, blasting my eyes with their searing brightness. I would not escape this reality easy, that much was sure.

"Cecilia?," the noise was soft and deep, thunderous like a storming cloud as it reached my ears. It formed sounds I understood, but yet I didn't.

Oh God, i'm confusing myself. 

It was like hearing underwater, everything warbled and broke. I could understand, but not very easily.

"Hold on, I'm making some adjustments," the noise droned on, coming from some unknown source around me. Perhaps it was the air speaking to me, beckoning for me to return to the void of emptiness, willing me to disappear in the vast expan-

The hell?

Where am I?

I looked around the room before me, full of sterile white and pale blue walls. Equipment was in every crevice, made of shinning steel and looming huge like giant, metal monsters. Tables carrying various medical instruments were scattered around and a single door faced me. Fluorescent lighting attacked my eyes from above and made the room spin with an unnatural shimmer.

A hospital. Perfect.

I craned my neck and glimpsed a set of clear wires running into my arm, blue liquid flowing through them and underneath my pale skin. I wanted to pull them out, but restraints kept me in place, pinning me like a trapped animal.

What the hell was happening?

"Ah that should do it." A male's voice spoke from my left. "No more of those intrusive thoughts."