Falling Fast

Part One

   Suicide. The intentional taking of one's life. But is that really what suicide is? No. Take it from me. Suicide is way more than just killing yourself.

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   I woke up to the sound of the weather playing from my alarm clock. School. I wish adolescents didn't have to attend high school. We have enough on our plate, like balancing relationships and work, to our own mental health. School just adds more stress and anxiety.
   I got out of my warm bed and stepped onto the cold wooden floor. I walk over to my closet and grab a sweatshirt. Today I don't feel like changing, so I'm going to school in my sweatpants.
   I walked into the kitchen and grabbed a granola bar and then grabbed my bag off the counter. I made my way to the door, then I heard my dads voice.

   "Have a good day at school sweetie!"

   I didn't answer. I never answered him.
   I walked out the door and headed towards the bus stop. The bus stop was right in front of my house, so I didn't have to walk that far.
The bus pulled up and I stepped in and took a seat towards the back of the bus. Fae was sitting with her friends towards the back.
Fae always points something "imperfect" about me. She's my bully.

"Well look who it is," Fae says, matter of factly,"Levi with her ratty hair and ugly taste in clothes. And is that a pimple I see?"

I know, Fae. I tell myself the same thing. Your right.

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After school, I go home and notice my mom is out. 'Dinners in the fridge', the note read. I grab the pizza and heat it up. I eat 1 slice then head to my room.
I walk into my closet and peer into one of my pant pockets. Found it. I grabbed my razor and I slice a couple times. I see the blood running down my arm and leave it. This is temporary. Soon we will be free.
I hear a door close downstairs and quickly clean my wounds up. I peer downstairs and see my brother getting pizza.
I go back into my room and lay on my bed. I get out my books and start doing homework.
Once I finish my homework I grab my phone and look through my instagram. "Do us all a favor, and go kill yourself." Oh, and look! There's another one! "Why are you still here!"
It was normal to have these comments but I seriously plundered their questions. Why am I still here? I'm not important to anyone.
Sleep washes over me and I'm at peace for the first time all day.