Granted Wish

Chapter 4

"How was at it at Claires?", my mother asks as soon as I enter the house, her blue eyes shining with worry. "It was fun, we got to talk a lot.", I try to smile, the thought of having to tell them lays heavy on my shoulder. "That's great. I'm happy you two are getting along again.", she gently strokes my cheek, a soft expression on her face. "Mom, there's something I have to tell you guys.", I try to maintain a steady smile, not wanting her to think of worse. "And can Nathan come over for dinner?", he deserves to know as well. "Of course baby, you know he's always welcome here.", I nod, taking out my phone to text him. I feel awkward after the whole avoiding thing this afternoon, not knowing what the hell was going on with me during that time. Why did I behave so weirdly considering they're actually good news. Great news even.

As I click on his profile, I notice a new profile picture tapping on it to get a closer look. It used to be him with the other ice hockey members but now it's a picture of the two of us. Nathan's intense green eyes shining with a wide grin on his lips, looking into the camera of his phone. He's holding my sleeping figure in his other arm, my head rested on his chest with my hand in a loose fist and covering the lower part of my face. I didn't know he took pictures of me while I was sleeping. Even so, I can't help but smile, saving it to my own gallery before texting him.

Love your profile picture -heart emoji- Can you come over for dinner, I have something to tell you?

I hope he's not mad at me for avoiding him. Heading up the stairs, I bump into my sisters. She's wearing a black and white striped tank top and gray hot pants, her used to be long brown hair chopped down to just above her shoulder and dyed a dark blonde. This hairstyle does suit her but I loved her chocolate brown hair, it's who she is. The daughter coming after the father and the son after the mother. We do have similar facial features, such as the (In my opinion too) big eyes, the soft jawline and the rather small nose.

"Hey,how was it?", she asks, deciding to head back upstairs with me. "It was good.", I'm not sure if I should tell her in advance as a kind of 'sibling bonding' moment. "So, about the whole doctor thing,I'm sure it's not that bad.", that's something she got from mom,the nosiness and stubbornness. Both of them always trying to find things out they're not supposed to. "I'll tell you guys later,okay?", we stop in front of my room, exchanging a few glances before she turns around and leaves again. As soon as I enter through the light brown door, my watch and phone both vibrate and Nathan's name pops up. I read it while walking over to my bed, laying down on the soft mattress.

You were so cute! I couldn't help but take a picture, hope that's okay with you. Anyway, I'd love to come over, your mom's cooking is always the bomb! So is yours by the way. I don't want you to force yourself to tell me, okay?

I guess he's not mad then, good to know.

Thank you, I guess. I really want all of you to know about this, so don't worry. How about coming over in 10 minuets, we'd have some time before dinners ready .

I place my phone next to me, closing my eyes and taking deep breathes. This silence. It's been following me for three years now and I'm sick of it. I'm sick of being so vulnerable. I'm sick of having others help me or treat me differently. I want to be able to make music again, to create new songs. Maybe even for Nathan, for us. I'm sick of having to imagine what my boyfriend's voice sounds like,what people around me talk about. The darkness. The silence. Some would consider it peaceful, other's the equal to hell. My watch vibrates and I open my eyes again, staring at the white ceiling for a few seconds before checking the message.

Sure, I'll take a quick shower then head over to your place. Looking forward to it!-heart emoji-

Sighing I type a reply, thinking about showering as well, I mean I've been sweating a lot today and it's still quite hot. With a grunt I ninja jump out of my bed, practically dragging myself to the bathroom before closing the door behind me. "You need to be happy, there's a chance for you to hear again.", I whisper to my mirror self,frowning even more after I had said that. I take of my shirt and pants, peeking at me once again through the reflecting glass. The hickeys Nathan left all over my chest and stomach, all the way up to my neck. If there's something he's really good at then it's biting his boyfriend. You can even see the teeth marks on most of the red purplish spots.

I takeoff the last piece of clothing and my socks, opening the glass door of the shower and stepping onto the cold porcelain floor. The water is cold first, slowly heating up until at perfect temperature for me to start washing myself with the shower gel my dad always uses. I kinda feel like it doesn't suit me, like the manly scent doesn't quite fit with my appearance. Washing off the foam, I notice I'm still wearing my watch, surprised that I actually forgot to get rid of it. It's not like it can damage it but I hate the feeling of soap getting underneath it, making it stick to your skin even more than it usually would.

Exiting the glass cage I wrap one of the big towels around my body, wet strands of hair dripping into my face. I finish drying myself of before heading back over to my room with the towel wrapped around my waist to get dressed since my other clothes were sweaty. My sticky and slightly wet watch vibrates as soon as I threw on a pair of sweatpants and a baggy t-shirt.

I'm on my way baby!

I take a few deep breathes, closing my eyes once again to have a moment of concentration. 'You can do this, it's nothing bad so you shouldn't feel so... weird'. Exhaling heavily I head down the stairs to wait for Nathan's arrival, sitting down at the counter to watch my mom prepare dinner, chopping vegetables and heating up the pans. It didn't take long for my boyfriend to knock on the door, my sister tapping my shoulder to let me know.

As soon as I see him, I can't help it, I just can't. All the emotions I bottled up this whole day broke in a single second, in the little moment in which I looked into his eyes and couldn't keep the tears in. Nathan immediately charges forward with a shocked expression,putting his arms around me and holding me close to my chest. His warm hands instinctively rub over my back and stroke my hair, trying to calm me down. I'm not sure why I'm crying, the tears don't feel sad but not happy either. Confused, relieved, scared.