fire and frost | short stories

iv. Hey Jude

h e y  j u d e

Jude,

Tides come.

Tides go.

But the thing about them is that they leave a mark, a sign that they had been there, that they have done something, made a difference. You were a tide for me. You came in with a blow, crashing into my life and filling me up till it almost got too much to breathe. You swept away my darkness, my sorrow, my misery.

But even when you came, Jude, I knew you would had to leave. That's the thing about tides, isn't it? My insides burned, my chest contracted, and my head felt dizzy when I thought about it. But, you were something I had to let go. As much as I've wanted to hold on to you, as much as I longed that you'd stay, I couldn't ask for that. You were too strong, too eager for me to gather you in my arms, clutch you to my chest, and keep you there. I have to say goodbye; I have to let you return into the vast, free world, where you're allowed to go to other places, encouter other experiences.

You will leave me shivering a little, Jude. I shudder to think how cold it will be after you leave, like when you jump fully-clothed into the sea, enjoying its warm embrace, the ripples playing against your back, and then have to retreat into the chilly air where the warmth no longer accompanies you and the wind bites at your sides.

But you have given me what it takes to live. I want you yourself to see what you have shown me, that there is more to life than I ever knew. Don't feel bad, Jude. You don't have to feel like you're stranding me in a desert where I have no other means of support. Because, truth is, you've given me so much. Your positivity and energy and completeness have rubbed off on me, and when you go, I will be fuller than I ever was.

When the next tide sweeps in, it will be a ghost of you that has returned, because you will be remembered, Jude. I will think of you when I'm sailing away at sea or when I am flying high above where nobody can see me. I will think of your warmth when I sleep, your presence when I'm alone, your radiance when I'm in the dark. And that's all I really ask for, Jude.

So, move on Jude; move forward. Go where life takes you, sail away towards the horizon. And don't look back. Keep me in a corner of your heart, and glance at me now and then. Think of me as you fixed me, made me better, stronger.

Take it away, Jude, take it away.