color me blue

chapter one.

I groaned at the sound of my beeping alarm clock. It's 5:04am, man I love school.
I groggily checked my phone and ignored any notifications I had gotten, it's too early to be talking to people.
Today was my first day of school, ever.
Yes, I am 16 years old and I'm in 10th grade, but I was home schooled all my life. Today, December 6th, I will be starting school.
I looked out into the gray sky, it's always cloudy and cold here.
I go into my bathroom and take a shower. I wash my long brown hair and wash my body, then I get out. I mean, what else would I do?
As I wait for my hair to dry I pick out my outfit, black high waisted jeans, and a black cropped Nike sweater, I don't like many colors.
I sighed and went to go do my makeup.
I applied my mascara and eyeliner and filled in my eyebrows. I don't wear foundation cause my mom tells me not to cover my freckles, even though I hate them. I decide just to put on chapstick because I know it's cold outside and lipstick dries my lips out. Satisfied with how I look, I walk down my stairs to go eat breakfast.
It's 5:52 now, and I leave at 6:45. I have plenty of time.
I chose to make nutella on waffles, my favorite food ever. If you make this for me every morning, I'll marry you. I'm desperate.
After I put the waffles into the toaster and make coffee, cause I can't make it through the day without a cup of coffee. My coffee and waffles are done at the same time, and I sit in silence as I eat.
My mom isn't home cause she works all of the damn time, and my dad is never home. So, I'm usually alone 85% of the time.
I put my dishes in the sink, and walk back upstairs to brush my teeth. After I'm done doing that I finally reply to my texts and other notifications.
Michael: hey, good luck today at school! x
Logan: hope you have fun today, tell me about all of the cute guys :)
My other half: GIRL WHERE ARE YOU??!
Kenzie: make sure you don't get too lost! good luck girlie!
I groaned and replied to them. It's not that I hate them, I'm just not a morning person.
It's finally 6:45 and I have to catch the bus, I grab my backpack and my headphones and head out the door.
The cold air hits my cheeks as I put on my favorite song at the moment, Losin Control by Russ.
My cheeks and nose turn bright red from the cold as I wait patiently for the bus to show up.
After 5 minutes it comes and picks me up, everyone watches me as I sit in the back of the bus, alone. I hear the whispers of a few people saying things like:
"Oh my God, that's her! She's finally coming to school."
"Damn, I didn't think she'd be pretty."
"What if she's weird?"
I turn my music up louder to drown out their talking.
The next thing I know I feel someone shaking my shoulder,
"C'mon wake up. We're here." I hear a raspy voice say.
"Hm?" I sit up.
"You fell asleep, princess. Come on, we're at school. We don't want you to be late, right?"
I yawned.
"Yeah I guess. Thanks for waking me up..."
"Oh! My name is Anthony. And you are?"
"Claire."
"Pretty name. Now let's go before the bus driver yells at us."
I blushed at his compliment, he was pretty cute. He had striking green eyes and brown hair. He was like 6'2" which is super tall for someone who's only 5'3".
What am I thinking? I can't think he's cute there's no way he would think twice about me.
"

So, why are you finally going to a public school?" He asked me as we walked into the building.
"Um, I don't know. I just thought I needed a social life, you know?"
"Yeah I get it. I'm not a social butterfly but I wouldn't like to be home schooled." He said.
"It wasn't that bad. My mom usually worked all of the time so she hired a teacher to come to my house."
"Woah, a lot of the time parents teach their kids."
"Yeah, I'm glad she didn't teach me. She would of confused me so much." I laughed. He laughed too.
"Well tell me about yourself." Anthony said, abruptly. We we're now sitting in the cafeteria waiting for the bell to ring.
"What do you want to know?" I asked.
"What music you listen to, favorite color, any hobbies, you get the point."
"Okay, I listen to alternative music like Twenty One Pilots and Melanie Martinez. My favorite color is black, obviously, and I don't know what I like to do. I mean, I sing and play the ukulele." I say embarrassed, why am I even opening up to him?
"That's so cool! You'll have to play me a song one day!" He said excited.
"Maybe," I smiled, "tell me about yourself."
"Well, I really like drawing and playing soccer, I also listen to all types of music besides country. My favorite color is green and I think you're really pretty." He added at the end.
My eyes widened and I said, "thank you. But I'm ugly, what do you mean?" I giggled. Ew, I've never giggled before.
"I think you're beautiful." He said, looking me straight in my eyes.
"I wish I could say the same thing to you, but..." I jokingly said.
"I'm so offended right now!" He put his hand over his heart. Then the bell rang. I felt a twinge of sadness build in my chest. As I realized we weren't able to talk anymore.
"Hey, what's your first class?" He asked, hopeful.
"Um, Biology, Mr. Howard." I said.
"Yay! I have him too!" He grabbed my hand and dragged me to the class.
After being dragged through this giant building we finally got to this classroom that was huge. It looked like I was in college even though I'm a sophomore.
"Good morning Mr. Howard!" Anthony said. "This is Claire, she's a new student. So I have to leave 5 minutes early to get her to her next class."
"Well, hello Claire. I hope you enjoy your time at our school." The teacher said. "Would you like to tell the class about yourself?" He asked.
"No, that's okay." I said looking down.
"Okay. You can sit next to Anthony for today until you get to know everyone in the class." I nodded and we walked to our seats.
"It's so damn cold in this classroom."
I said.
"You're wearing a sweater, Claire." Anthony said.
"Yeah, but I'm still cold!" I whispered-yelled to him. This classroom was way to cold.
"Okay class, today we're gonna talk about human anatomy." Mr. Howard said.
He pulled out one of those skeleton things and started to tell us the names of the bones. This is so fucking boring.
Finally, I had to leave the class.
"Oh my God, is his class always that boring?" I asked Anthony when we left the classroom.
"Yup. You get used to it though." He replied. "Who do you have next?"
"Geometry, Ms. Clark." I said.
"Woah!! I have her too!" He said smiling.
"Yay!" I said.
We walked to our next class and we still had time to talk. He gave me his number so now I can text him.
"Look. After this class, we don't have any more classes together, but we do have lunch together. I'll meet you at the cafeteria."
"Okay." I smiled.
Geometry is so easy. The class flew by.
Finally it was time for lunch.
"Aw, man. I forgot my lunch." I said as I sat down with Anthony.
I don't eat school lunch, it's gross. That's what I've been told at least.
"You can share with me." He said.
We sat alone and that's how I like it, I'd rather just be with him instead of like 12 people.
We talked about everything. Then out of nowhere he asked, "do you write your own music or?"
"I write my own sometimes, but I like doing covers of songs more."
"Oh. Nice. Can I come over after school today? Maybe you can play me a song, and I can help you with homework and stuff."
"Yeah, of course. Let me tell my mom that someone is coming over."
Me: look mom I'm having a friend over today. So don't be surprised if you come home and theyre here.
She instant replied.
Mom: you finally have a friend! Wow. My daughter isn't a complete failure.
I ignored it.
"What did she say?" Anthony asked.
"She said yes." I said blinking away tears. This is why I hate myself, I'm too sensitive.
"Are you okay? Your whole mood changed." He asked concerned.
"Yeah I'm okay." I smiled.
He brushed it off and continued talking about me and my singing.
Lunch was over and we only had two classes to go. They went by fast, and I don't want to bore you with the details.
I met Anthony at his car. He insisted on driving me home instead of coming to my house.
"Hey girl!" He said hugging me.
"Hey Anthony." I smiled.
We got into his car and he asked, "do you wanna stop somewhere and get food?"
"If you want, I don't really care." I said.
"Okay, we can get chipotle."
"What's chipotle?" I asked.
He gasped, "you don't know what chipotle is?! Oh my god, I'm taking you there asap."
We drove there and he got me the same thing he gets, but less spicy. Fun fact, I hate spicy food.
"Wow this is really good." I say, taking another bite.
"I know!" He said eating his food.
We talked and talked until we were both done.
Then I told him my address and he drove us home.
"You have a nice house." He said.
"Thanks." I laughed.
We walked up to my door and walked in. My door was unlocked.
We walked in and saw my mom in the kitchen, cooking. I repeat, she is cooking. She never does that.
"Hey sweetie! How was school?" She asked.
"It was good mom. Um, this is Anthony he's my friend." I said.
"Hey, Ms. Smith." He said awkwardly.
"No honey, call me Jean." She smiled sweetly.
He smiled back.
"Whatcha cooking?" I asked.
"Cookies. I assumed you guys ate already so."
"Okay, mom, we're gonna go upstairs and work on homework."
She nodded her head.
"Your mom is nice." Anthony said walking up the stairs.
"Mhm" I said.
We got to my room, and it was the epitomy of every teenagers room. Messy, band posters everywhere and clothes everywhere but the closet.
"I'm sorry for the mess." I said looking around.
"It's okay! My room is worse."
He said honestly.
I laughed.
"So, about that song?" I said.
"Oh yeah!" He said.
I grabbed my ukulele, "Who's signatures are those?" He asked curiously.
"It's Tyler Joseph and Josh Dun. They're the members of the band that I'm obsessed with."
"Oh nice!!" He said. He was always so enthusiastic. I love it.
I cleared my throat and started singing.
"Na na na na, oh. Na na na na, oh. Na na na na na, oh.
When the leader of the bad guys sang, something soft and soaked in pain, I heard the echo from his secret hideaway.
He must've forgot to close his door, as he cranked out those dismal chords, and his four walls declared him insane.
I found my way, right time, wrong place as I plead my case.
You're the judge, oh no, set me free.
You're the judge, oh no, set me free.
I know my souls freezing, hell's hot for good reason, so please, take me."
I continued to sing the rest of the song as Anthony stared at me in awe.
"Wow." He started clapping. You're so fucking good!" He smiled.
"Thank you! I've never sung in front if anyone else so." I smiled.
"Really?! You need to share your talent with everyone. You're amazing."
"I don't think I'm amazing, but again, thank you."
"You should sing in our schools talent show." He said seriously.
"No way." I said, putting my ukulele away.
"Yes. You're too good to let that talent go to waste. You could get a record deal!" He said.
"Maybe. But I don't know. My anxiety, it's too bad."
"Do you love singing?" He asked.
"Yeah, of course."
"Then showing it off isn't gonna be that bad. Our talent show is next month. It will be a good way to get people to talk about you. You'll definitely get people's attention."
"I don't know if I want that Anthony, like what if people hate me?"
"Everyone is gonna love it! You're so good!"
"I'll think about it. For now, maybe we should do our homework."
We started getting our books out, when we heard
"Cookies are ready!" My mother yelled from downstairs.
I sighed and got him, and Anthony followed.
We grabbed a couple, thanked my mom, and walked back upstairs to do our homework.
After we finished tons of homework, we realized it was 6:52 and Anthony had to go home.
"I'll see you tomorrow, princess." He hugged me.
"Okay. Bye." I hugged back.
I walked him outside as he said he was going to text me and stuff, then he left.
The euphoria I felt instantly went away when I watched him drive away.
I frowned and walked back into my house.
"Why the hell would you invite a guy over my house?" My mom asked.
"I told you, someone was coming over."
(Trigger warning; mentions of self harm and child abuse)
"You're such a fucking slut Claire."
"Okay mom."
She hit me.
"Don't talk back to me!"
I swear she's fucking insane.
I walked back upstairs and took a shower.
I looked down at my wrists and see the old scars that lined them.
I wondered if I should do it again. But what if Anthony sees?
He'll be so worried.
Maybe I could cut on my thighs, I sighed out loud.
I just stood under the pouring water and pondered about my life choices.
I heard my phone ring.
I checked to see who it was, of course, it was Anthony.
Anthony 💜: hey babe, I just got home, text me when you have the chance xo
I instantly replied even though I was in the shower.
Claire-Bear: hey. I'm in the shower lol.
Anthony 💜: of course you take one when I'm not there.
Claire-Bear: what's that supposed to mean? :/
Anthony: never mind. Is everything okay?
Claire-Bear: yeah..
Anthony 💜: are you sure? I'll stay up and talk if I need to.
Claire-Bear: I don't wanna worry you.
Claire-Bear: Im fine.
Anthony 💜: okay, see you tomorrow girl xx
Claire-Bear: bye :)
I shut off the water, and stepped out.
I looked through my drawer and found my blade.
Well, here goes nothing.
I'm in bed now. I can't sleep. I feel like shit for relapsing, I'm so stupid.
I decided to call Anthony.
It rang once and he picked up.
"Hello?" He said.
"Hey. Um, are you going to sleep?" I asked.
"No, I'm an insomniac. Why?" He asked.
"Oh. Just wondering. I need someone to talk too, sorry for calling."
"Don't worry about it! What's up?" He said.
"So you may have thought my mom was nice..." I trailed off
He cleared his throat, I took this as a signal to keep going.
"As soon as you left, she called me a slut and hit me." I sniffed.
"Oh no. Do you want to come over?"
"No no, I don't wanna burden you or your family."
"Claire. Come over. I'll come pick you up, you can't stay in a place like that." He said, seriously.
"Okay. Can you like stay on the phone with me while you drive. Just like put me on speaker. I'm gonna have a panic attack." I said, unable to say anymore. I started hyperventilating.
"Claire? Are you okay?" He asked worriedly.
"Come. Over. Please." I said, breathing between each word.
"Okay, sweetheart just calm down. I'll be there soon."
I nodded, even though he couldn't see me.
"I don't want you to do anything but focus on your breathing. Okay?"
I heard the engine start.
"Oh-kay."
"I'm gonna come over, and come in through your window and I'll get your clothes and everything you need."
"Mhm."
"Is that okay?"
"Y-es."
"Okay. I'm almost there. Just hang on."
"Anthony. Y-you don't n-need t-to do t-his. Just g-go h-home." I said. Heavily crying.
"Princess, I'm definitely coming to get you. I don't care if I just met you today. You're so important to me."
I didn't reply. I couldn't reply.
"Okay I'm outside, I need you to open your window."
I got up and opened the window. Within seconds he got in. And I felt his warm arms wrap around my body. We stayed like that for a while, and I finally calmed down.
I was okay.
We were okay.
"You good?" He said, not letting go of me.
"Yeah." He let go of me.
"You're gonna spend the night at my house. I'll get you to school in the morning." He said, going through my closet and picking out clothes.
"Anthony, I just met you today. Are you sure?"
"Yes, Claire I'm sure." And I left it at that.
I waited as he grabbed my toothbrush, makeup, backpack and more. He was doing way to much for me. I didn't want to push it though. He might get mad.
"Thank you. So much. You're the only person who really cares about me." I said.
"Dont worry about it." He smiled.
I was only wearing a bralette and leggings. He looked me up and down, then took off his hoodie and gave it to me.
"Thanks." I said.
"Mhm. Now I'm gonna get out first then I'm gonna help you climb down."
I nodded.
He slowly got out of my room, and jumped down.
"Okay Claire, I want you to try to get out now. Just tell me if you need help." He whispered.
"I will." My stomach lurched as I climbed out and I had to turn around to shut the window. I took a deep breath and jumped down.
I felt a sharp pain run up my spine as my feet connected with the ground.
"You okay?" He said grabbing my waist. He was really touchy.
"Yeah. I'm good." I reassured him.
We walked to his car and drove to his house in silence.
It was 1:32am and I was wide awake. Anthony practically begged me to sleep in his bed instead of sleeping on the floor. So here I am, laying in his bed, not even sleeping in it.
I don't even know why he's doing this, like we just met today and there's no reason to. My mom always acts like that. No one has ever wanted to help, but what if my mom wonders where I am? I mean, she could actually care for once.
Thoughts ran through my head as I was too exhausted to stay awake, and eventually fell into a dreamless sleep.

(This chapter escalated so quickly. It's gonna be a short story, and I don't wanna take it to slow, I hope it didnt suck too bad.)
:)