color me blue

chapter two.

I woke up at 4:54 am. So I only got about 3 hours of sleep. Yay.
I sat up and rubbed my eyes, wondering where I am. I looked around and saw Anthony sleeping on the floor. Then the memories of last night came flooding back into my mind.
I went to check my phone, I assumed Anthony brought it for me.
I realized I didn't reply to anyone's messages from the previous night. They were all really worried about me, so I made sure to let them I was okay, even though I wasn't.
I got up and went into his bathroom, I looked a mess, my hair was sticking up all over the place and the bags under my eyes were so dark. My brush was on the counter and I attempted to tame the thing on my head I call hair.
After I was done, I got into the shower. His mom had shampoo and conditioner so I didn't have to use his, even though it smelled amazing.
I took a quick shower, not wanting to waste any water. When I got out I realized I hadn't brought any of my clothes with me. So I quietly snuck back into Anthony's room, and tried to get my backpack.
I heard a tired groan come from the floor, "Oh. Good morning, Claire." He said, smiling.
Oh my God, this is so awkward.
"Good morning." I laughed.
I don't think he noticed I was in my towel, or he didn't care.
I grabbed a pair of black leggings, a tank top, and a gray hoodie from PINK.
I went back into the bathroom and got dressed, I did my makeup and let my hair air dry.
I walked back into the room to see Anthony without his shirt on.
I felt my cheeks get hot and I quickly looked away, and tried to make it seem less awkward.
"I'm gonna get in the shower. You can make some breakfast if you want or you can wait for me, I don't really care." He smiled.
"Oh, alright." I said, not making eye contact.
Then he left. I took a deep breath.
Why the hell do I feel like this? I need to stop. He's just being nice, Claire. Don't get your hopes up.
I checked the time and it was 5:37 am.
I walked downstairs to see his mom and dad in the kitchen. It was so stereotypical, the father was drinking black coffee and reading the newspaper while the mother was cooking breakfast.
"Um, good morning." I said, slowly walking into the kitchen, "I know this is weird but I'm Claire. I spent the night here last night. I promise me and Anthony didn't do anything we-" I was cut off.
"Sweetheart, it's okay. We knew you were here Anthony told us." The mom said sweetly.
I smiled.
"Yeah, don't worry about it." The dad said, looking up from his newspaper.
"Oh okay. I didn't want to scare you or something." I said, sitting down.
They didn't say anything. Awkward silence filled the room as I went on my phone.
"Claire, how do you like your coffee?" Anthony's mom said.
"Just cream, no sugar, thank you." I said.
We sat in silence again.
Then Anthony came downstairs, "Morning mom and dad." He said, running a hand through his soaking wet hair.
He was wearing a black hoodie with holes in it, like they were meant to be there, and black jeans with holes at the knees. He looked hot.
"Good morning." His parents replied.
"Claire is really quiet, Anthony." His mom said.
I instantly got uncomfortable, I hated when people talked about me when I was right there.
Anthony cleared his throat, "Well, she's a new student. She's been home schooled all her life."
"Oh." His mom said. Thank God they stopped.
"Did you like being home schooled?" His father asked me.
"Yeah. It was okay. I decided to go to public school cause I thought I needed a social life." I awkwardly laughed.
"I'm really glad that you met our son." His mom said, bringing me my coffee.
"Thanks, again for this. You guys are too nice." I said sipping my coffee.
"No problem." They said.
Breakfast was finally ready, his mom made us eggs and bacon.
We talked about school and our lives. Then me and Anthony had to leave, we said our goodbyes and headed off to school. Snowflakes started falling from the sky as we drove to school.
I looked out the window, amazed. I loved the snow, I always have.
"You okay?" Anthony asked me, laughing. I looked like a two-year old who's seen snow for the first time.
"Yeah, I just really love snow." I said.
"I can tell. It's beautiful, just like you." He said.
"That was smooth." I laughed.
"Yeah I know." He winked jokingly at me.
"Hey, I have a question." He said, randomly.
"Yeah?" I asked looking at him.
"Have you ever thought of dying your hair or cutting it or something?"
I haven't cut my hair since 5th grade. I made the worst mistake of my life, I looked like Dora for a year.
I dyed it when I was 13. Also I really stupid idea.
Now my hair is light brown and is down to my waist.
"I already tried. I looked gross, why?" I laughed.
"I think you should dye it dark brown, it would look really good on you."
"That was random, but I might." I said.
"After school we're buying hair dye, and we're doing it. No objections, okay?" He said as we pulled into the parking lot.
"Oh no. Okay." I said.
We walked into school, it was about as boring as it was yesterday.
But I did meet a few other people, one really stuck out to me. Her name is Allie. She is just like me, we could be twins, except she doesn't have freckles.
We instantly became best friends.
We had the same music taste and that's how we bonded.
After school I met with Anthony and we drove to target.
"Do you even know how to dye hair?" I asked, cautiously.
"Yeah, totally. Don't worry Claire." He said.
We ended up buying 3 boxes cause my hair is super thick.
We drove back to his house, and immediately went upstairs to his bathroom.
Why am I doing this?
"You're gonna look so good I promise." Anthony said. As he started mixing the toner and the dye, I regretted my choices.
He started doing it.
Dying your hair is super boring by the way, you just sit there and wait.
While I waited I did my homework and texted my mom.
Me: ill be home later.
Mom: okay.
She didn't question me, thank God.
Finally, the timer dinged, signaling me to wash out the hair dye.
After I got out of the shower, Anthony wouldn't stop staring at me.
"I knew you would look good!"
"Yeah, I love it." I smiled.
My hair was a chocolate brown, and I was really happy with it. After we were done fawning over my new hair, Anthony drove me home.
"Are you sure youre gonna be okay?" He said, putting his hand on my thigh.
"Yeah, I'll be okay." I reassured him.
"Text me if you need anything."
"Okay." And with that, I left.
I was so not ready to face my mother's wrath.
"Where the hell have you been?" I heard as soon as I walked into my house.
"Well hello to you too." I said, kicking off my shoes.
"I don't have time for this. Answer the question." She said, lighting a cigeratte.
"I was at a friends house." I said bluntly.
"Okay, whatever Claire. I want to be here for you." She said.
"Okay mom." I said walking upstairs and into my room.
I looked through my drawers to find the weed I've been hiding from my mother. I live in Colorado, it's legal.
I rolled a blunt and climbed onto my roof. I always smoked here when I needed to take a break.
I lit it and deeply inhaled some of the smoke. I haven't done this in so long, and it burned my lungs.
It started snowing again, heavier this time. And for the first time in a while, I was happy.
Then I heard a honk come from below me.
"Hey! It started snowing and I thought of you!" Anthony yelled to me.
I laughed, "shh!! My mom is asleeeeep." I was definitely high.
"Are you okay?" He said, "Why are you on the roof?"
"Cause I felt like coming up here. It's fun!!" I said laughing.
"You seem to be in a good mood." He said and got out of the car.
"Let's go do something fun! Like get food and drive around!" I said climbing back into my room, I sprayed perfume on and put eye drops in my eyes. I couldn't let him now I was smoking.
I hopped out the window and ran to Anthony. I hugged him,
"Wow, you really are in a good mood." He laughed.
"Yup!! Let's go!" I said.
We drove to McDonald's.
We ordered the same thing and I didn't even realize how much I've eaten.
"You seem hungry." He laughed.
"Yeah. I haven't eaten all day." I said.
"Hey. Are you high?" He asked, staring at me with his piercing green eyes.
"No way!! I would never ever ever do that!" I said.
"Claire, tell me the truth I won't be mad."
"I'm not high!" I said.
"Mhm. Okay, we're leaving now." He said grabbing me.
"Why don't you believe me? Can't I be happy for once?" I said, getting aggravated.
"Never mind Claire. Let's just go."
I totally didn't get high to end up being mad.
After about 10 minutes the highness wore off and I was home. I said bye to Anthony and snuck back into my room.
I signed. Looking down on my desk, I still had about half of a blunt left. I can't smoke in the house so I went back up on my roof.
I started playing some depressing ass music, starting of with Cancer, by Twenty One Pilots (the cover).
Turn away, if you could get me a drink
of water cause my lips are chapped and faded, call my aunt Marie, help her gather all my things, and bury me in all my favorite colors, my sisters and my brothers still, I will not kiss you. Cause the hardest part of this, is leaving you.
I sung along with Tyler's amazing voice.
I looked up at the sky and saw all of the stars, then I checked the time.
12:54am, I need to sleep.
But, guess what. I decided to be a rebellious teenager and stay up on my roof.
That only lasted for about 30 minutes.
I was way too tired to stay awake.
I texted Anthony,
Claire-Bear: goodnight anthony. <3
Anthony 💜: goodnight princess :)
I smiled, I was really falling for him.
-the next morning-
I woke up at 5:12am. It was Thursday.
I audibly groaned and got ready.
I don't want to bore you with the details.
I will tell you my outfit though, I wore blue super ripped jeans and an Adidas crop top. I love crop tops. I put on my white Adidas superstars and went downstairs.
I wasn't that hungry so I grabbed some grapes and made my coffee.
I put it in a starbucks to-go cup, and ate my grapes when I got a text.
Anthony 💜: coming to get you in 10 x
I smiled and went upstairs to brush my teeth. I grabbed a piece of gum because I didn't want coffee breath and standed outside.
I saw a car pull up but it wasn't Anthony.
It was a black Jeep, and they we're slowing down.
A tall man stepped our of the car and he said, "hey, Claire." He reached out to hug me.
"Um, excuse me? But who the fuck are you?" I said, stepping back.
"You don't remember me? I'm your father." He said.
Then Anthony pulled up and honked his horn.
"Look-dad, I gotta go. I'll see you later?"
"Of course sweetie." Then he got back in his car and left.
"Hey Claire, who was that?" Anthony asked.
"M-my dad." I stuttered.
"Oh? Where has he been?" He started driving.
"I'm not sure. He can't come back here. He makes my mothers life I leaving hell." I said.
"Don't worry it'll be okay. Wanna come over today?" He asked.
"Yeah..s-sure. I said, he didn't push it any farther.
My heart started beating out of my chest as I realized I was panicking.
I took short inhales of breath and couldn't seem to think.
"Claire? Is everything okay?" Anthony asked, pulling over.
"Take. Home." I said, not being able to form a sentence.
"Okay." He said.
"When. You. Take. Me. Home. You drive to school." I said, being able to talk.
"No, I can't leave you alone." He said, turning around.
"Yes you can. You need to go to school." I said.
"I can miss one day." He said.
I left it alone. He wasn't going to let me be alone.
We drove back to my house and stayed in my room all day. We made a fort out of blankets and pillows and watched Netflix, then we talked and talked.
"What's the most embarrassing thing you've ever done?" He asked me, taking a sip of the lemonade we made.
"Okay, so when I was younger I had to go to my aunt's wedding. I was like 4 years old and threw a tantrum because I didn't want to be there.
I ended up grabbing pieces of cake and throwing them at everyone. I ruined the entire thing. It's not really embarrassing but it's funny."
He bursted out in laughter, "oh my gosh, how could you do that?"
"I told you! I didn't want to be there!" I defended myself. "What's the most embarrassing thing you've done?"
"Well, in 6th grade I had a really big crush on this girl named Carly. She was like the love of my life. One day, I went up to her and confessed my love to her in front of everyone. She said she would call the cops on me if I ever talked to her again." He wiped a fake tear away.
"Aww, that's so sad." I said.
We told more funny stories and I felt like we have been friends for a while.
Then I heard a knock on my bedroom door.
"Honey. It's me, I know you didn't go to school today, I'm not mad I just wanna talk to you." I heard my father's voice.
I put my finger up to my lips to hush Anthony, then slowly got up and walked to my door, I opened it to see my dad standing there will a cup of hot chocolate.
"Hey, dad. Thanks." I said grabbing the cup.
"I knew you stayed home I assumed you were sick?" He said.
"Yeah. Kinda." I said.
"Um, so I want to explain to you why I'm here again." He said, looking down.
"Okay. Tell me what you want." I said stepping out into the hall with him.
"Well, your mother wanted me to come back. So I thought I would give her another chance." He said, awkwardly playing with his hands.
"You always give mom another chance, dad. But you're the one who causes the problems. You ruined her." I said, finally telling him how I felt.
"No I never did anything to hurt her." He said.
"What do you mean? You used to come home drunk all of the time, you would hurt her, go to sleep, and do it all over again the next day. I don't want to talk to you." I said, walking back into my room and locked the door.
I sighed and went back into our fort.
"You heard it all, right?" I asked Anthony, not wanting to explain it all over again.
"Yeah. I'm sorry." He said.
"No, its okay. I don't wanna talk about it. How about we continue our other conversations?" I smiled.
"Okay." He smiled back.
We sat under there for hours until we realized he had to leave.
We said our goodbyes, as we always do, and he left.
I kept our fort up because I was too lazy to take it down (lmao that's me though).
I laid in bed thinking about everything and anything.
Then I heard something break downstairs, I heard yelling.
I held the tears back, I'm not gonna fucking cry.
I decided to listen to music to drown out their screams.
I listened to the saddest song I could to, Friend, Please by Twenty One Pilots.
And eventually I fell asleep.
When I woke up, I felt like utter shit. My voice was gone and I had a terrible cough.
I decided to go to school anyways, I didn't want Anthony to worry.
I changed into a black oversized sweater and black ripped jeans, then I put on some converse.
I brushed my dark brown hair and put half of it up and left the rest down. I did my normal makeup but put winged eyeliner on my eyes too. I've never done this before, I just wanted to slay for once.
I texted Anthony and asked if he wanted to pick me up, of course he said yes.
I decided to skip breakfast and get a cup of tea instead. Then I sat outside and waited for him. I haven't eaten since Anthony was over, but I wasn't hungry.
My freshly painted nails wrapped around the warm cup as I took a sip, then I breathed out and saw my breathe in the air. Damn, it was cold.
The sky above me was cloudy and dark, and the trees around me had no leaves. I've never actually admired the nature that was near my house. As I watched the birds flying around, I heard a honk coming from the end of my driveway.
"Hey!!" I heard Anthony yell.
I meekly waved back to him and ran up to his car.
"Good morning." He said, turning the heat up even higher, realzing how cold I really was.
"Morning." I said, voice going in and out as I spoke. I sounded like a teenage boy going through puberty.
"Woah. Your voice is..." He said, starting to drive.
"Yeah, I know." I coughed, "I'm sick."
"Boo you whore." He said, quoting mean girls.
I weakly laughed, "oh shut up."
"I knew you looked a little paler then usual. Your freckles stand out so much more." He said, continuing to mess with me.
"I hate my freckles." I said, taking another sip of tea.
"They're adorable!" Anthony said.
"Thanks." I said.
I kept coughing and sneezing throughout the entire car ride.
"You sound terrible." He said, pulling into the school parking lot.
"Yes, I know." I snapped, I definitely was not in a good mood today.
We walked into school and the day went by pretty smoothly, until English.
My teacher always called on me, even though I knew every answer. I was good at English.
Today I just wasn't in the mood for her bullshit.
"Oh, Claire do you know the answer to number four?" Her nasally, high pitched voice rang through my ears.
"I always do, Ms. Snyder." I said.
"What was that?" She said loudly.
"I said, I always know the answer."
"Well, what's the answer to number four then?"
"William Shakespeare. I'm not an idiot." I said, looking her in her brown eyes.
"I never said you were."
"Then why do you always call on me, like I never know the fucking answer."
A few kids jaws dropped, and a few gasped. I was so done with being here. When I talked to her my voice cracked a lot, and she kept pressuring me even thought I'm sick.
"Go to the the principles office." She said.
I coughed, "glady." I said, grabbing my stuff and leaving the classroom.
I walked down the hall to the office, I'm really glad to be out of there.
I walked in and told the secretary my name.
Then I sat down next to a guy who looks like he belongs here.
"Hey." He said, looking at me. "Why are you here?"
"Hi. And I got mad at a teacher who kept messing with me. Why are you here?" I asked, clearing my throat, hoping I didnt sound too gross.
"They caught me skipping class, again."
I laughed.
"What's your name?" He asked.
"Claire, and you are?"
"Ryan."
Then the principal came out, "Claire?"
I stood up, "I'll see you later, Ryan?"
"Yeah, bye Claire."

"So, Ms. Snyder told me you were being rude to her?" He asked.
"Yeah." I said, I wanted to leave.
"Why?" He pushed.
"She always calls on me and it really pisses me off. She's so irritating."
"Oh. Claire, you're gonna have to be careful. You just started school, we can't have you getting into trouble."
"Hm, okay. I'll stop." I mentally rolled my eyes.
"Good. I'll let you off the hook, but only because you're new. If you pull this type of stunt again, you'll have consequences."
"Okay, bye." I said, leaving his room.
"Could you tell Ryan to come in here?"
"Yeah, sure."
"Ryan, he wants to see you." He stood up and sighed, he was extremely tall.
He looked down at me, "text me?" He said, giving me his number.
I smiled, "yeah, of course."
Then we parted our ways.
The school day was almost over so I just sat outside and waited for the bell to ring.
It was finally the weekend.
Thank God.