I used to have
this monstrous hole in my heart
It was ugly and it came from
heartache so strong i couldn't breathe
but sewed myself up
healed myself
and i finally became a person
i wanted to be but now,
after this,
the one time i bring down my walls,
the sutures split and i have
a numbness
spreading like disease in my body
i can't feel, i can't cry
and i'm scared i'm losing myself
again, i can't do it again
i finally stopped hating the person i was
and now
now my hole is back and i want to disappear
i can't do this again, i won't
