We were each other's breaks.
We snapped each other's habits of dark haired August borns and noncommittal antisocials. We suspended ourselves above falling for the people we knew were bad for us, but I was carrying too much weight, I fell and brought us both down, the baggage I had made us crash and I knew how to fall but you didn't so you broke. You relapsed into thoughts of her, noncommittal, antisocial. I watched you reach out of your way, break your back, crane your neck into your addiction, falling past the ground that I pulled you to and sinking into the earths core where you fell asleep for six months. You picked the wrong time, it wasn't winter, you missed hibernation. I hoped for the love of god something could wake you up because I watched you scream and churn as nightmares overcame you and I pounded at your glass coffin but I was afraid if I hit any harder that it was shatter and cut you.
And then, one day, you woke up. You opened up your own coffin, you bloomed in yellow dresses that I teased you about it, you bloomed like the yellow flowers I sent you to brighten your way. You smiled genuinely, not with the fake sheen that no one can see most of the time because you're an actor and a makeup artist, you know how to cover things up. But with no makeup, no concealer with enough coverage to cover up your glow and no time to improv your way through the weekend, you smiled, and dark haired August borns fell for you, as anyone would I can't blame them. Still, you smiled. You smiled through August and into September and you said you were happy. Why couldn't you have stayed happy?
Noncommittal antisocial came again, an anniversary in life sunk you down from your high and I saw you eyeing that glass coffin. Don't let her be your death. Dark haired August born, you started excusing him like you excused her, don't ignore their behavior.
"We were the break in each other's bad habits," You laughed. Yeah. We were, "And of course it didn't work out, too bad" yeah, too bad.
I wish I could be that person in your life. The difference between us is that I think I was just a crack in the road for you, but you might have permanently demolished my trail. You might have turned a break in my habits into a change of direction, a new path. It stings that I'm not more than a crack in your road. I hope that some day you won't be hungover on your addiction to noncommittal anti social, and that I can be another crack in your road. I hope that someday I can put so many cracks in that road that you'll never find your way back to that glass coffin.
...
Dedicated to a special super nova in my life, who deserves the universe and more but I don't have the security passwords or the clearance to get it to her.
-Joey
