Double Edge Sword

Bitter Sweet

Sam released an audible sigh, face in his hands, the hum of the electricity in the bunker somewhat deafening. He sniffed even louder, and it was only then that he finally heard the sharp whine of the chair next to him, and an arm around his shoulders. Cas pressed his forehead to Sam's temple, murmuring reassurances that Sam couldn't quite let soak in, he merely kept his face hidden. Sam knew that he should be comforting the angel just as much as the angel was him, but he let himself grieve. He let Cas hold him like he never had before.

When the sky righted itself, he had wanted to scream, and as he looked across the space of the bar parking lot, locking eyes with Cas he almost lost it right there and then. Because Cas' eyes glazed over thickly with tears as they peered up at the beautiful sky.

And then they were driving back to the bunker in silence, the growl of Baby was like a sob all in itself. Cas had followed him down the steel steps, closely so, telling him he was 'there if he needed to talk'. And although it was endearing, he knew it was at Dean's request. Last words from Dean to 'take care of his little brother' even though he was in his 30's, far from needing that kind of care taking. Not that it wasn't genuine, it simply made him miss Dean more. Made it more concrete that he was gone. For real this time. No coming back. Billie made that abundantly clear.

The loud ominous creak of the bunker door filled the too silent room where Cas and Sam sat at the main table. Sam flinched violently, streaming eyes peering up at the ceiling, and instinctively he's reaching for his gun, pointing the barrel at the entrance. Without even thinking he pushed Cas behind himself. He wasn't sure why he did that. But Cas was all he had now and he would be damned, both literal and figuratively if he lost Cas right now. Last lifeline to his big brother. And he knew, knew for damn sure that the two men loved each other. He was sure Dean would have confessed if he hadn't volunteered to become a human soul bomb. So it was all Sam could do, protect Cas, like Dean would have.

His legs shook and he nearly fell to the floor when Dean's sad, tired smile was the reason for the loud opening of the door. He probably wouldn't have realized how badly he was shaking if Cas weren't at his side holding him up.

"Dean?!" he spat.

"Heya Sammy," Dean smiled in that way that was both elated and exhausted, "Cas..."

"What happened?!" Sam was climbing the stairs, pulling his big brother to him, knocking him off his feet.

"So I was not joking about the Dr. Phil thing, I got killer talking skills," Dean chuckled against his little brother's shoulder, given that his face was mashed there, "They made up and did a roto rooter on the soul bomb. Good as new."

Something new curled in Cas' stomach as Dean looked across his brother's shoulder right at the angel. He wetted his lips to speak, but couldn't find the will.

"Okay Sammy, let me get to the angel, looks like he's fit to burst," Dean laughed again, patting Sam firmly, crossing the space and gathering Cas close, holding him tightly, "Hey Cas..."

The breathy and low voice brushed against Cas' ear and he shivered and held just as tightly, "Hello Dean..." he croaked.

"Miss me?" he near whispered.

Cas' throat was clogged with tears and he made some kind of sound that wasn't exactly words, and he knew it was sarcasm recognized it immediately, but he nodded against the careful hold. He hadn't spoken one word with his Father, hadn't the chance or the will to be honest, but he was thanking him as he unconsciously ran both hands over the very alive, taut back of Dean Winchester.