Chain Smoker

Prologue

   How gloomy,how sad,how dull my life have been so far. I thought as I wiped my tears. I stared at my father's funeral that literally broke my heart into million pieces. His death was a remarkable tragedy and it made me realised that people die anytime. It might be next year. Or next month. Or next week. Or tomorrow. Or maybe even at this very second. It saddens me how I didn't spend time with him when I should have. But everything has changed now, it is all gone. "Sweetie, let's go." Mother said. I took a very last glance at father's funeral and walked away. The car ride was a hell of ride. It was very intense because no one spoke. Before I could say anything, mother broke the silence. "It's God's plans, remember that." Mother stated. Somehow,that puts me into anger. "God's plans" I muttered. I didn't even look at mother because I didn't want to show her the anger in my eyes. 

"Sweetie." Mother said.

"No, mother! This is unfair!" I said, furiously.

"Unfair? Why would you say that?" Mother asked. She shot a surprised look.

"How could he? How could father leave us like that? He never cared about us! He never cared about anyone! He just cared about his litte friends so called cigarette." I slipped out all those words without any hesitation. I was very furious. I was very frustrated.

I looked over at mother and she just kept silent. Probably she was stunned with my words. Or she finally realised what I said was the ugly truth. But it was true, my father never cared. When we arrived home, I headed straight to my room. Opened the door and slammed it. I collasped onto my bed. I was carried away into my dreams or nightmares.

"Can you pass me a box of cigarette on the table,sweetheart?" Father demanded. I sat there,ignoring father's instructions. "Do you listen to me?" Father demanded again, more furious this time. I looked at him. His eyes weren't fascinating anymore. He used to have a pair of beautiful sky blue eyes. A piece of cigarette just had to damaged it. I grabbed the box of cigarette. I stared at it, examined it. "Is it tasty,father?" I asked as naive as possible. I was a naive 10 year old kid who only cared about toys and pencil colours. I opened the box and picked one cigarette. "Don't you dare! Don't be such an idiot!" Father slapped me and grabbed the cigarette from my hand. "What an idiot." Father muttered. I laid there, cried my eyes out. Father didn't care instead he lighted up his cigarette and enjoyed smoking-

    I woke up. I noticed tears streaming down my cheeks. It wasn't a dream or a nightmare. It was a bad memory. I headed to the toilet and looked at myself at the mirror. I softly brushed my own skin. How bad my eyes looked. Heavy eyebags,thick swollen eyes. I am no longer the fresh girl. I am the one sad child.

    Mother was in the living room. I noticed how bad she looked too. She looked pretty exhausted. I went to her and settled beside her. "Mother, I am very sorry about what I said earlier." I apologised. She just smiled. "It's okay,honey." She accepted my apology. "I'm just glad you are here. With me." I said. Because I am. I have mother. She looked at me, brushed my hair behind my ear and hugged me tightly. I felt safe,very safe. She pulled away first and started talking. "Anyway, I have a good news." She said,cheerfully. Hiding the sadness away. "You are accepted into the college you applied in New Zealand!" She said, with a happy tone. My jaw dropped. I was speechless. "You have to be kidding me? Tell me you are not kidding!" I said. She just nodded. "Oh my god, I love you mother!" The greatest news I have ever received after a very long time. I was prepared. Prepared to begin a new lfe.