Chain Smoker

Chapter 2

  A/N: I'm so sorry for the delay! I really hope this chapter makes it up to you all & sorry for some sad parts,I've been not well myself these past few weeks. So hope you enjoy! Leave feedbacks xx

   "Have you shoved your whole wardrobe into your bag?" Mother teased, which brings a laugh from me. "Mother!" I squealed. I'm the type of person who brings literally everything everytime I travelled. Now, New Zealand will be my second home, I'd have to bring everything. "Look at this, I found your wish list." Mother said, pulling a piece of pink paper. Maybe just bunch of silly wish lists I made when I was what? Twelve?

    "Go to disneyland. Checked." She began to read. I couldn't help it but to burst into laughter. "Go to Toys R Us. Checked. Um get Loli and Kurt married..?" She paused. "Who are those?" Mother asked, quizzically. "Oh it was my friend's hamsters. I wanted to get them married like how they did in That's So Raven. It was cool that time, okay?" I explained, which made Mother laughed. Mother handed the paper to me as she was trying to catch her breath from laughing too much. I scanned through the paper and everything was crossed out except for one thing. Get father to stop from smoking. I stared at the sentence. The word father and smoking broke my heart spontaneously. Unfortunately, that was the only wish I didn't reach. I crumpled the paper and threw it into the rubbish bin. Sometimes I think it was all my fault. If I had the effort to stop him from smoking, he wouldn't be dead by now. He would still be here with me.

    As I gathered everything together, I heard someone was sobbing. I turned around and I saw Mother's eyes filled with tears. Her eyes were red, her nose were red and her cheeks were burn red. Obviously enough,she was crying. She wasn't laughing anymore. It's terrifying how things can change your emotions drastically.

"Mother?" I asked,concernly.

"Oh sweetie,you are going to New Zealand." She said, paused as she was breathing. "And then you are going to get married and then leave this house for the rest of your life. I am going to be alone."

   She opened her arms,gave me a sign that she wanted a hug. I immediately threw myself into her arms. I buried my face into her chest, squeezed her real tight. I closed my eyelids tightly,trying not to cry but it wasn't easy. I ended up tearing up too.

"But this house will always be your house okay? Don't ever hesitate to come over." She exclaimed, planted a kiss on my forehead.

"I know."

"I love you."

"I know. I love you too."

---

   I couldn't believe that I was leaving the house and pursue my dreams to be a writer in New Zealand. I was waiting at the porch with mother as Kiara promised to drive me to the airport. Mother handed me a shiny gold locket. On the locket, it carved a heart shape with a saying Keep Dreaming on it.

"What's this?" I asked.

"This is for your motivation. It's from your father's mother."

"This means a lot to me. Thank you."

   How cliché but I appreciated it. I didn't know I mean a lot to mother that she was willing to give a whole trust on me to take a good care of this locket. I looked at the locket and I love how the locket says Keep Dreaming. Very pretentious. "One more thing, don't forget to wash your clothes, don't leave it dirty because mother isn't going to be there. No one's going to clean it for you." I nodded. "And also,you are a big girl. Take care of yourself." I nodded continously. "You can just email me or Facebook me or something." I nodded and then, what? "You have a Facebook without my knowledge?" I puzzled. "I'm old enough to have Facebook, or maybe too old for it." She giggled. I just hope she won't go and fall in love with strangers online. "Most importantly,never trust a boy who already has a pack of condoms ready in his pocket before he even asks your name." A deep piece of advice I've ever received from mother. That advide also reminded me of Ash.

   I remember how he ran on the track at school's field. How his hair was pushed by the wind. How good looking he looked eventhough how sweaty he was. Damn boy,Marina whispered. I looked over to her and her eyes were glued to Ash. I looked at Ash and then there,we made the first eye contact. He pulled a smile first and I replied with a slight smile. Did he fucking smiled at you? Marina shot me surprised look. Lucky me. I said. More like bad luck me. After everything were dismissed,Ash approached me. Hey there. How lovely, a simple hey that managed to carve a smile on my face. I said hey to him back. He asked me if I was running and we casually talked about athletic stuffs. It was pretty ordinary but it ain't ordinary to me. A few minutes after,he dragged me into the boy's locker room and he pulled off his jersey. I stared at him. He stared at me back,raising his eyebrows. What are you waiting for,babe? I shot him the most puzzled look but when he bit his lower lip,I knew something wrong was going to happen. But I couldn't help it. I took off my shirt and he pushed me agaisnt the locker. Everyhing happened very fast. He kissed me. What's your name? He mumbled against my lips. Florelle. I whispered. Sadly, he was a piece of shit.

"Kiara's here!" Mother told me as she noticed a Mini Cooper parked infront of the gate. I hugged her tightly and I pulled away first. "So, you're going to be okay right?" I asked.

"I'll be fine, don't worry about me." She replied.

"I'll see you on July."

"Go pursue your dreams and never look back." That was the last advice she told me before I headed to the airport.

---

   The journey to the airport was pretty radical. We sang to the radio hardcore. We even sang loudly when Coldplay's Fix You played. "God bless the DJ!" Kiara yelled. "Thank you for playing something inspirational instead of something mainstream!" I amplified her statement. Mainstream is defined as the most trending thing or an over trended thing that the society expects us to follow just to fit in a certain group. Mainstream should die. It destroys people and it is very dull. Same trend,same taste,same colour and same shit. Kiara flew her hand in the air,asking me for a high five. I gave her a high five and we just laughed at each other. "Oh I'm so going to miss this when you're gone." Kiara said. "You still have Marina." I said,tried to be in denial. "Nigga,you know I don't really like her,don't you?" My eyes widened. I didn't know that. "No." I said, narrowing my eyebrows. I signaled her that I was confused. "Well,it's a long story. Don't worry about her." Kiara said. "Don't go and kill her when I'm gone or something." I joked around which brings laughter from her.

   After an hour journey,we arrived at the airport. She dropped me at the entrance. I hugged her for a long time. "We are still going to contact each other right?" I whispered in her hair. "Always." She whispered back. She let me go,waved at me and drove off.

   I carried my Jansport bag and headed to the gate. Thankfully,I got there in time. The journey was 5 hours long so I thought I could shut my eyes for couple of hours. As I stepped in the airplane,shivers trailed through my spine. I walked straight to my seat,settled my bags to places and threw myself on the seat. The fuck is happening? I asked myself. My vision turned blurry and the flight attendants appeared to be millions infront of me. I was sick. "Miss? Are you okay?" Someone asked. Before I answer,my sight faded to black-

"You're my cigarette." Said by someone.

"I want you to be my cigarette. So I can pull you out of a black dark box. So I can light you up when I'm cold. So I can keep you on my lips all the time." Said by someone. He just wanders around,playing with my hair,looked into my eyes. It wasn't my dad. It was- A guy I've never met.