S.A.P

Adam #1: Introduction

Life for me was pretty boring. I never really went out much except for work. Being a cashier didn't exactly make bank so staying home to have a good time was more my thing. Most of the things I'd want to do were all at home. Simple things like watching movies, listening to music, read books and playing video games. Oh and since I had no neighbors around me I could play my shit as loud as I wanted and also smoke weed since no one was around to see me or smell it. Only one who could see me was my cat Casper. Who was he going to tell, right? He was born deaf so I didn't feel bad about the volume I would play my music or video games at. As I say that now I feel like an asshole still but I know he loved me so and liked to chill with me because he never hid from me and always came running when I opened up the door when coming home. Nothing much else, so routine was a common thing in my life which bored the hell out of me and honestly made me depressed. The weed helped. My social life life was pretty much non-existent. I only had a few friends I would talk to at work, never really heard from them otherwise. It's my own fault though. I'm the one who chose to stay inside to stay at home all the time instead of going out while fighting the loneliness from not getting any interaction that didn't come from Casper. I know, I'm a mess. I always tried my headrest to fix that about myself, but no matter how hard I tried it stressed me out more because I tried to think more about what was wrong with myself that was making all of this so difficult. An endless cycle this was going to be until life itself comes to its inevitable finish. So in the mean time what else could I do besides live day by day, looking at all the little things that made me somewhat happy. The realization that one day we're all going to die, could be sooner than you think, really effects people differently. For me it gives me the best feeling of being spontaneous. If I wanted to try something new I would jump at the opportunity to do so which rarely ever came around so when I heard my dealer got something new in I thought I would reach out to him so that I could try it out. Live life to the fullest they say. So I gave him a call, from that moment, I didn't realize my life was going to change so drastically and for the better.