Jade

Chapter 10

The fire reduces to a pile of  coals, barely enough to keep us warm. Bert stands up from his soft pillow and wipes a hand over his old tunic, not doing anything to remove the layers of dust from the worn-out uniform. "I'll go fetch some more wood before you lot freeze to death. You, Merchant. Come along," he says, gesturing for Keath to follow him. Keath puts his floral teacup down and reluctantly follows Bert to the back of the cave. 

I poke at the sorry coals with a stick, thinking of what the wraiths made me see. I have always had nightmares about that moment it showed me, but reliving it like that...

I shudder.

I feel the lingering rage in my chest. I have resented the captain since the night we got arrested. The way he enjoyed every moment of it. Capturing us, throwing me in the cell, reading out every crime that they know of like it gave him personal pleasure, but the wraith induced memory brought on a new level of hate for him that I did not know was possible.

Aiden joins me by the fire, looking just as worn out as me. "So, Bert seems like a cool guy."

I give a halfhearted laugh. "Well, he's different from any other 'knight' I've ever met."

He pretends to be offended. "What do you mean? I think Sir Hylton Lambert is a magnificent example of an exemplary servant of our righteous, kind King Alistair's court," he says with a hand on his heart.

I laugh for real this time. Aiden knows how to make any situation seem better than it is. It can be infuriating when he fools around in a serious matter, but he has his moments.

"It's a shame about his apprentice though," I say, remembering his story about Diggory. Something about the tragic fate of those boys strikes a sense of grief into my heart. Someone so young should not have to experience such loss. Losing a best friend, I wouldn't be able to let go of that. 

"Yeah. It's hard losing someone you love," he says, ruffling his blond hair. There is a change in his voice.  

I stare at the floor, examining each crevice on the smooth rock. He seems to speak from experience.

"Family is important, Jade," he says.

I look at him. "What?"

"I said family is important." He picks up an old teaspoon from the tray and starts rubbing it like it will restore the old utensil to its former silver glory.  "No one gets along with their family all the time, and sometimes you realize too late how much you need them. Even siblings."

I throw my stick into the fire, watching as sparks fly like little wisps of fire. They float towards the roof of the cave, dancing with each other until they disappear.

I sigh. "Just because you are related by blood doesn't mean they will automatically be there for you. It doesn't take away their ability to disappoint. In fact, it's then when it hurts the most. When someone so close to you betrays you, sells you out, it changes something in you."

I stare at the dying embers, the lack of flame causing the shadows in the cave to creep out from the corners, only dodging the light from the few candles placed around the room.

He looks at me, trying to meet my eyes, but I keep mine fixated on the fading sparks.

"I understand why Bert never told his apprentice that it was his fault," I say. "If I were Diggory and I knew that my own mentor cost my friend his life, I would never forgive him, or the people that killed him."

I can feel his eyes boring into the back of my head. He doesn't know what to say. How could he possibly understand? 

"But it's okay," I say finally. "I don't need family."