home game.

Mistakes.

'Did.. Did that just happen?' She thought to herself before another wave of nausea swept over her and another round of a chunky lunch came up her throat to the grimy bowl below her face. She shook her head and squeezed her eyes shut shivering softly as she knelt on the bathroom floor. Her mind kept spinning round and round with thoughts of what she had just done. Flashes of flesh and heat and sweat kept swirling around her mind till she had someone appear behind her and pull her hair back to hold it for her. 'liddian?' it was James.. how could she explain this? "I'm fine. i just need a moment OK? Go ahead and grab a few from the bag." He nodded softly and stepped from the doorway to move to the other room. She heard a bag rustle and she wiped at her mouth trying to stand. 'you sure your OK?' He shouted from the couch as she walked in the room and she nodded. "I'm fine just wanna get my shit and leave." He shook his head but handed her a mini baggie filled with 4 or 5 slips off the white-ish tan paper. 'you earned them.' he whispered to her shocked look on her face. she nodded curtly and dashed to the front door him yelling after her quickly ' you could have as much as you wanted if you would just be mine!' Liddian froze for a moment before she ran out of the house slamming the door behind her, and as she ran through the streets she couldn't stop thinking about him and what he had done sure she had let him do it and it was agreed upon and he didn't do any more than he said he would but.. she was hurt "stupid.. he's so stupid.." She shook her head to scatter the thoughts in her mind like you would to shake dirt from a carpet and walked the rest of the way to her house. Her shoes clacking on the wet pavement gave her some kind of comfort as she thought of every step she took as another away from that danger. Did she love him? She had asked herself that a million times and her heart nor her head ever gave her a straight answer they just always went to war with each other her head saying 'hes a good guy but he just did that so maybe he's not a good guy which would make him a bad guy but at the same time he is usually so kind so he must like us but is it genuine?' Then her heart is sitting there just shrugging away, since it was burnt up and used up by way too many breakups. as she saw her house in the distance she felt a tear roll down her cheek and she realized she had been crying and didn't know till the little drop of salt water dribbled down her cheek to drop from her chin. "I don't love him." she said sternly and she slipped in the house, as she reached her room she pulled out a piece of the paper and put it on her tongue before plopping in her computer chair. "Lets do this" She whispered as the 'Logging On' symbol appeared on her screen and she once again slipped into madness.