Accidental

A Little Party Never Killed Nobody

Right when Harry showed up he immediately regretted coming and wish he could turn around and go back home. He hated to be a buzz kill but he wasn't exactly the life of the party either while he couldn't even bring life back to himself. Harry was trailing behind Niall into this gigantic building that resembled a court house but had a more welcoming feel to it. The whole outside was marble and he wondered somebody could make a building look like a piece of art. The grey marble reflected the rainbow colored lights of traffic back into the chilled city air. Harry realized he was right at the door already and Niall has already walked into the fancy marbled building. He couldn't bring himself to open the door because once he was in he knew he had to ride out the whole party and he wasn't in the mood. He forced his body to open the wood and gold embroidered door and stepped in. Heat automatically attacked his body, a feeling he wasn't exactly accustomed to. Harry enjoyed cold and he enjoyed the numb feeling the the bitterness gave him. Numb. A feeling Harry was accustomed to and he loved the feeling. No matter the source of the numbness he basked in the feeling of no pain and sometimes his mind would ride on the numbness too. That was the only time he didn't feel so alone.

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Crowds of people stood and talked or sat on uncomfortable looking floral couches in huddles looking similar to penguins in a huddle trying to keep warm. The lights we dimmed to a soft glowing yellow-orange. The only noise that was completely audible was the humming of all the voices mashing together in a whirl wind of conversation. Of course Harry's voice wasn't in that mash up of audible conversation because he was alone in the corner on his phone counting down the minutes until he could go home to his flat and maybe go to sleep for the first time in weeks. Even though Harry knows sleep later isn't on his to do list he can use that as an excuse to leave, claiming false tiredness. Before he could get up to leave a figure was hovering over Harry's chair and when he looked up he found Zayn with a more than concerned face.

"Mate, whatcha doin over here alone? All your friends are here don't you want to go seem 'em?"

"I don't want to" seemed to be the only thing he could mutter followed by a lazy shrug

Before Harry knew it Zayn had a hard grip on his forearm and was tugging him to a table of his best friends. Harry looked at the faces of his well known friends and wondered if they recognized him because he knew he was paler than before and his eyes shone a little dimmer of a green than they used to. Harry remembers when he used to be a perfect balance between a little tan and pale and his eyes shone of an electric green. His face pronouncing his happiness and declaring his place in this world and now all he has was a little bit of a spark behind his fake smiles and he was scared that coldness of his heart was too obvious. 

"Oh, look who made it to the party!" the voice was deep and silky running through the air with meaning and it rung with the pure happiness of having Harry here. Something he found comfort in.

"Hey, Liam. How've you been?" his voice shaky and non familiar to his own ears

"Man, I think the better question is how've you been? I haven't seen you in months. I thought you'd fallen of the earth."

Harry wish he had fallen off the earth to put himself out of his misery. Maybe he was overreacting and maybe a little broken heart wasn't much of a fuss but Amy was the only thing Harry could count on and to have to be without her is hard. His head started to hurt just at the thought of it. Harry thought he winced too but he wasn't sure. 

"I've been shit to be honest., but i'm better." he lied right through his teeth and right to his friends. He doesn't feel guilty though, everybody tells a little white lie but this lie wasn't white. It was a black lie, more a lie that hurt himself more than them. To have them think he was actually okay when he wasn't. He'll still suffer in silence.

Harry sat and listened to conversation with a few words here and there but other than that he was a space filler. Nothing more than a person without a meaning.